The Slushie Effect
by Hummelberry94
Summary: Kurt and Rachel never hung out in high school till their boyfriends break up with them. AU: Sophmore year. season one
1. The break ups

Kurt and Rachel never got along till their junior year, when their respectable partner breaks up with them. Blaine told Kurt that he felt that he didn't like McKinney and went back to Dalton, where Blaine met Matt. On their ten month anniversary, Blaine called up Kurt.

"Hey Blaine, I was just about to go to Breadsticks to meet you." Kurt says right when he picks up the phone.

"Yeah... About that. I can't do this Kurt..." Blaine says, his voice sad but hard.

"Do what Blaine? You can't do Breadsticks tonight, because we can do it tomorrow…" Kurt says slowly, knowing something was up.

"I slept with Matt." Blaine comes out and says it.

Kurt is quite for a minute and then says, "Why?"

Blaine hears the sadness in Kurt's voice and sighs. "I just… I don't know Kurt. I hope we can be friends."

"Maybe… I need time." Kurt says slowly, trying not to let Blaine know he was crying. Kurt hangs up and curls up. He thinks 'Why me... I finally find a great gay guy and he cheats…'

* * *

Finn told Rachel that she wasn't pretty or popular enough and went back to Quinn again. Finn comes up to Rachel on the Monday after Blaine breaks up with Kurt.

"Hey Rach..." He sounds and looks guilty.

Rachel turns to him. "Hello Finn." She stands on her tippy toes and kisses his cheek. "How are you?"

"Rachel… we need to talk..." He frowns.

Rachel stops and looks at Finn. "What did I do?" She tears up, knowing that he was going to break up with her. She hadn't done anything, she was not clingy and she did not bother him as much.

"You are just... Ugly and not popular enough for me. You are a short, big nose and ugly girl. You will never make it to New York and you suck at singing. You need to shut up half of the time and you do not know everything. It would be better if you just disappeared." He says and walks away.

Rachel sinks down and cries into her knees, while no one notices her.

* * *

A few days later, Rachel is running to her English class, trying not to be late. When she passes the auditorium, she hears singing. Rachel peers inside and sees Kurt on stage, singing and crying. Rachel walks in and listens. Kurt finished the song and Rachel claps. Kurt turns around and sees Rachel.

"Rachel? What are you doing here?" He asks.

"I heard you singing and I came in to check it out. You sounded great." She smiles at him.

"Oh well thanks." He gets his sheet music and looks at her. In the past few days, Rachel had changed, she had started dressing different. She now wore jeans and tees all the time. She hadn't sang in Glee club since the breakup, not because she was sad, but because she was letting others shine.

"Were you crying?" She looks at him.

"Why does it matter to you? You're Rachel Berry, you only care about yourself and push others around." He says quickly and angry.

She is taken back and tears up. "Sorry. I was worried and just wanted to help…" She turns around and starts to go away, not wanting Kurt to see her cry.

"Rachel, wait. I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make you cry." He walks to the stopped Rachel and turns her around.

"I do care about you Kurt. I care about everyone in the club, but no one cares back. I am just loved for my voice." She starts to cry.

Kurt turns her around and hugs her, holding her in his arms. "Shhh Rach, I didn't mean to make you cry. I like you. I care about you and I know some others do, even if we don't show it. Your amazingness just is so amazing some times that we can't stand it." He runs his hands threw her hair and rubs her back.

Rachel clams down and sinks into him. "Thanks."

He nods and keeps her in his arms. "I got you Rachy pop." Kurt secretly liked Rachel since kindergarten, since she was the only one who liked Kurt. They were great friends, but once they got into Middle School, Kurt ditched Rachel for the new girl, Mercedes. She forgave him, but he had never forgiven himself. "I will never leave you again."

She nods and grips onto him.


	2. The stand up

Days later, Kurt is sitting in the choir room, waiting for Glee to start. Everyone was here, except Rachel and Kurt was getting worried. Rachel was always the first one here. After 10 minutes of waiting, an orange, red and blue slushie covered Rachel walks in.

"Looks like someone did the world a justice. I think Rachel looks better like that." Santana says out loud. Everyone busts up laughing, except Kurt, Tina, Mike and Puck.

"I know. She should stay that way. I mean no one wants to help her get cleaned up. She is the loser of the school." Mercedes adds.

"She thinks she is the best thing in the world, but she is the worst." Quinn adds in and elbows Finn.

"Yeah, I only dated her to keep her on the team, but know I know that Quinn can lead the team." Finn says.

Rachel sits down in the back, alone. Mr. Schuester was in there the whole time and said nothing. He turns to the class, not looking at Rachel. "Okay guys, we need songs for Regionals." Kurt raises his hand. "Yes Kurt?"

"I think Rachel should do our ballad." He offers up, knowing Rachel hadn't sung a solo in a week.

Everyone turns to him. "Why should she always get it? I could get us first place and win everything. Rachel let us lose to Vocal Adrenalin last year." Quinn offers.

"Yes, Quinn will get the ballad and Finn and Quinn will do the duet. You two can pick the song and that will be good. For the group number we will be doing 'What the Hell' by Avril Lavigne. Everyone will get a part in it except for one person. There is not enough for everyone to sing, so Rachel you are going to just sing in the background." He turns to the piano and gets the sheet music and hands them out to the people. Kurt looks at Rachel and frowns. Rachel is just sitting in the back and just looks down. "Everyone get up and we will try this out." Everyone gets up and starts.

_You say that I'm messing with your head - Quinn_

_All 'cause I was making out with your friend - Mercedes_

_Love hurts whether it's right or wrong - Brittany_

_I can't stop 'cause I'm having too much fun - Santana_

_You're on your knees_

_Begging please - Tina_

_Stay with me_

_But honestly I just need to be a little crazy - Laura_

_All my life I've been good but now_

_I'm thinking, what the hell?_

_All I want is to mess around_

_And I don't really care about_

_If you love me, if you hate me_

_You can't save me, baby, baby_

_All my life I've been good but now_

_Whoa, what the hell? - All_

_What_

_What_

_What_

_What the hell? -Quinn_

_So what if I go out on a million dates? - Puck_

_You never call or listen to me anyway - Finn_

_I rather rage than sit around and wait all day - Artie_

_Don't get me wrong, I just need some time to play - Mike_

_You're on your knees_

_Begging please - Kurt_

_Stay with me_

_But honestly I just need to be a little crazy -Sam_

_All my life I've been good but now_

_I'm thinking, what the hell?_

_All I want is to mess around_

_And I don't really care about_

_If you love me, if you hate me_

_You can't save me, baby, baby_

_All my life I've been good but now_

_Whoa, what the hell? -All_

_You say that I'm messing with your head_

_Boy, I like messing in your bed_

_Yeah, I am messing with your head_

_When I'm messing with you in bed -Quinn_

_All my life I've been good but now_

_I'm thinking, what the hell?_

_All I want is to mess around_

_And I don't really care about_

_All my life I've been good but now_

_I'm thinking, what the hell?_

_All I want is to mess around_

_And I don't really care about_

_If you love me, if you hate me_

_You can't save me, baby, baby_

_All my life I've been good but now_

_Whoa, what the hell? – All_

They all sit down and Kurt raises his hand. "Yes Kurt?" Mr. Schue says.

"There are some times that Rachel can have a solo in that song." Kurt looks back at Rachel.

"Rachel always has solos; it's time for others to shine." Mr. Schue says and excuses everyone.

Everyone gets up, Quinn, Santana, Brittany and Finn walks to Kurt. "Why are you standing up for Manhands?" Quinn asks.

"She does not have man hands and she is my friend." Kurt says back to them.

"Kurt? How she your friend? She has stolen solos from you all the time. You are my friend and you cannot be friends with her." Mercedes says and goes to Kurt.

"Well then I guess we are not friends." He says and goes to Rachel. "Let's get you home."

"Kurt no it is fine. Go back to Mercedes. I am okay on my own." She gives a sad smile and walks out.

Puck, Kurt, Mike and Tina all look at Mercedes and Quinn.

"You two are so mean." Tina says to them.

"We are just telling her the truth." Quinn fires back.

"She was there for all of us, sometime in our lives and we just turn our backs on her. We are supposed to be a family, but all I see is a small, scared, sad girl getting picked on." Kurt says and shakes his head. He leaves and goes looking for Rachel.

* * *

Rachel sits at the piano in the auditorium, just playing with some keys. Kurt walks up on the stage and sits by her. "Tina, Mike and Puck stood by me. They all care about you."

Rachel leans her head on his shoulder. "They shouldn't. You shouldn't be on my side. You will not be popular in anything and everyone will hate you."

Kurt wraps an arm around her waist and holds her close. "I don't care baby girl. I was a horrible person when I let you go in Middle School and that will never happen again."

She looks up. "You mean it?"

"I mean it. Now let's go get washed off." He takes her hand and gets up, letting her get up and then goes to the bathroom.


	3. The Song

After a few months that Kurt and Rachel are friends, they let Puck, Mike and Tina into their group against the others. In glee, the five of them sat in the highest row on the left side, to be the farthest away from the group. Kurt and Rachel always sat by each other. They were becoming inseparable. Mr. Schue continued to give all the solos to Quinn or Santana and ignored Rachel for the most part, which was pissing off Kurt.

"Kurty, please drop it..." Rachel said one day after Glee club. Rachel had to take Kurt to the outside bleachers to cool off. Today, Mr. Schue told Rachel to shut her mouth and to not talk again. She hated that she was unloved by half of the club but it was the only time she was able to sing a little with a group. Rachel loved being in a group, even one that hated her.

"No Rachy. He should not have said that. He asked for ideas and your idea was amazing. He only said that because you are not a part of the cool ones and that isn't fair." He said, getting angrier.

"Kurt…" She places a hand on his shoulder and turns him to face her. "Stop pacing, I am getting scared that you will fall off the bleachers."

Kurt looks at Rachel and her sad face. He sighs and sits down. "Sorry Rachy. I am just so mad that he can treat you like that, but if you let Quinn shut up, you'll get in trouble." He pulls her to his lap and kisses her cheek, like it was the natural thing to do.

Rachel freezes up and blushes. "What was that?"

His eyes widen. "Oh god sorry Rachel…. I did-"

Rachel interrupts him. "It's fine... We are friends... That can happen. Right?" Rachel had started growing feelings towards Kurt, but she couldn't tell him. He was gay. She knew that and wouldn't do anything to mess up their friendship.

Kurt looks at Rachel. He also started having feelings for Rachel but was scared to tell her. "Yeah, I think so…" He smiles reassuring and does it again. "See, all friendly."

Rachel looks at Kurt. "Kurt…"

"Yes Rachy?" He looks at her.

She starts to tell him about her feelings but stops. '_He will hate me….'_ "Um I want to sing a song with you." She smiles as she takes his hand.

"Sure. What song?" Kurt says and smiles at her.

"Um… What about a mash up of Don't You Wanna Stay by Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean and Stay by Sugarland?" Rachel suggests.

"Perfect." He grins.

_**Rachel**_,_ Kurt_,Both

_**I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall**_

_**And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call**_

_**It's just another call from home**_

_**And you'll get it and be gone**_

_**And I'll be crying**_

_And I'll be begging you, baby_

_Beg you not to leave_

_But I'll be left here waiting_

_With my Heart on my sleeve_

_Oh, for the next time we'll be here_

_Seems like a million years_

_And I think I'm dying_

_What do I have to do to make you see_

_She can't love you like me?_

Why don't you stay

I'm down on my knees

I'm so tired of being lonely

Don't I give you what you need

When she calls you to go

There is one thing you should know

We don't have to live this way

Baby, why don't you stay

_Let's take it slow, I don't wanna move too fast_

_I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last -Rachel_

_When you're on this high, it's a sad goodbye_

_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_Don't you wanna hold each other tight?_

_Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?_

_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_We can make forever feel this way_

_Don't you wanna stay?_

_(Sung at the same time)_

_Why don't you stay_

_I'm up off my knees_

_I'm so tired of being lonely_

_You can't give me what I need_

_When she begs you not to go_

_There is one thing you should know_

_I don't have to live this way_

_Baby, why don't you stay, yeah?_

_**Don't you wanna stay here a little while?**_

_**Don't you wanna stay here a little while? **_

_**Don't you wanna hold each other tight? **_

_**Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?**_

_**Don't you wanna stay here a little while?**_

_**We can make forever feel this way**_

_**Don't you wanna stay?**_

They are standing right in front of each other and stare into each other's eyes. "Wow." They say at the same time. They lean in and are about to kiss, when they hear their names in the distance. They jump back and run down the bleachers to Tina and Mike.

"There you are." Mike says. "Mr. Schue needs Rachel."

"For?" Rachel asks, "Mr. Schue hates me."

"No idea but he said he needed you now." Tina says.

"Okay, well I will go back then." Rachel says and then goes into the building.

Kurt watches her go, worried.

"Kurt, you okay?" Tina asked.

"Yeah, just confused." He says and goes and sits down on the bleachers.


	4. The love

**Thank you so much for everyone who commented and favorited. It means a lot to me. I usually give up stories, but I am trying to stay with this one. **

**Thanks to my Beta, who rocks, CrestofGlee. **

It was Valentine's Day this week. The school is decorated in hearts and love was all around, even Tina is wearing pink. The night of Valentine's Day, Kurt and Rachel are gathering at Tina's house. They are going to Breadsticks because the Warbler's were putting on a performance.

"Rachel, who do you want as your Valentine?" Tina asked Rachel, while the three of them are getting ready.

"Um… there is this one guy…" Rachel says and giggles.

"What's his name?" Tina asks wanting to get all the details. Kurt looks at Rachel and frowned slightly. He wants Rachel to want him, to date him, or at least say that he was all she needed. He is scared that Rachel would go back to wanting Finn.

"Just a guy…" Rachel says and looks at her nails that Tina just did. They are painted pink with red hearts that matched her outfit which was a red tank top, a heart sweater, a heart jean skirt, heart tights, heart boots, and heart jewelry.

"Is he in the glee club?" Tina asks. Rachel hesitates and then nods with a smile. "Is he in our group of friends?" Rachel nods again, knowing that she's confessing too much. "It's Puck!" Tina yells out.

"Ew! No way! Noah is like my brother to me, I would never crush on him!" Rachel counters, looking grossed out. "Never in a million years would I go out with Puck again." Rachel gets up and grabs her make-up bag and clothes. "I'm going to get dressed and ready for tonight." She storms into the bathroom.

Tina waits till the door is closed and turns to Kurt. "It is you." Tina tells him.

"What? No. I'm gay… She knows that." Kurt stammers.

"Sure you are…" Tina gets up and starts to do her hair and make-up.

There is a knock at the door and Kurt gets up and opens it. Tina's mom stands in the doorway with a box of roses. "Kurt this is for you." She hands them to Kurt and went downstairs.

Kurt goes and sits on the bed. "Who is that from?" Tina and Rachel, who just exited the bathroom, ask.

Kurt opens the card and sighs. "Blaine."

Rachel looks annoyed "W-why is he sending you flowers?"

"He is sorry and wants me back." Kurt explains as he gets up and throws the flowers in the garbage.

"Why did you do that?" Tina asks.

"I don't want him or his sorry flowers. I like someone else and I am going to try and be with them" Kurt smiles and gets ready.

"I wonder what guy Kurt likes." Rachel says and sighs mentally. She doesn't want Kurt to get a boyfriend again; she likes having all of his attention and also hanging out with him.

"I don't think it is a boy Rachel." Tina says softly.

Rachel turns to Tina. "Why would it not be a guy? Kurt is gay. Don't you remember how mad Kurt got at Blaine for thinking he was Bi-sexual?" Rachel gets a little red in the face.

"I think he's straight." Tina says and finishes her make-up.

"Then why would he tell people he is gay?" Rachel points out while Tina shrugs and stands up.

"I just know that Kurt is looking at this one girl like Mike looks at me." Tina says and smiles.

"What girl?" Rachel asked. She doesn't want Kurt to date anyone else. She wants to date him, but even if Kurt wasn't gay he would never want her. She is ugly and annoying just like everyone says. Even her dads told her so why wouldn't Kurt.

"My lips are sealed. Kurt will tell everyone who he likes when he wants to." Tina said. "Come on downstairs and get a heart cookie." Rachel nods as she and Tina go downstairs.

Kurt leaves the bathroom and sighs as soon as they leave. He wanted to tell Rachel that he loved her but he was a coward. Tina was getting too smart. At least she wasn't telling anyone.

* * *

**At Breadsticks**

Tina ran to Mike and started to make out with him.

"Let's get a table Kurtie." Rachel says and goes to a table. Rachel sits down and Kurt sits right next to her. Tina and Mike sit across from them after they finished their make out session. They talk and eat till they heard "Introducing The Warblers!" The crowd cheers, except Kurt and Rachel.

Blaine goes to the Mike and smiles at Kurt. "This is for all the lovers in the room."

_I can't explain, the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?  
(How can I tell you about my loved one?)  
Ah, you gave me more, you gave your all to me, so can't you see?  
(How can I tell you about my loved one?)  
You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs  
But I look around me and I see it isn't so  
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs  
And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, 'cause here I go again  
I love you, I love  
I love you, I love  
I can't explain, the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?  
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me, now can't you see?  
Love doesn't come in a minute  
Doesn't come in a minute  
Sometimes it doesn't come at all  
Doesn't come at all  
I only know that when I'm in it  
Only know when I'm in it  
It isn't silly at all, no, it isn't silly at all  
Love isn't silly at all, not at all  
I love you  
I can't explain, the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?  
(I love you)  
Ah, you gave me more, you gave your all to me, so can't you see?  
(How can I tell you about my loved one?)  
I can't explain, the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?  
(How can I tell you about my loved one?)|  
You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs  
But I look around me and I see it isn't so, oh no  
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs  
And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, 'cause here I go again  
I love you, I love  
I love you, I love  
I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?  
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me, now can't you see?  
I can't explain the feeling's plain to me  
(How can I tell you about my loved one?)_

Blaine kneels down in front of Kurt as the song ends. "Kurt. It would be my pleasure if you would be my Valentine." Blaine looks up at Kurt, smiling his best smile.

"No. Blaine you had your shot with me. I moved on and so should you" Kurt says bitterly as he gets up and leaves, leaving a broken hearted Blaine, whom looks like he's about to cry on his knee.

As Rachel gets up to follow Kurt, Blaine stops her. "Rach, try and get me on his good side again. Please."

Rachel looks at him frowning. "No. You hurt Kurt really badly, and I don't want to see him hurt again. Rachel walked out and goes to Kurt. She finds him sitting in Tina's car.

"The audacity of him to ask me out after what he did" Kurt said angrily.

"You should just ignore him. Yout deserve someone much better" Rachel tried to cheer him up.

"Thanks, Rachel." Kurt smiled.

"What are friends for?" She smiled back. They waited in Tina's car till she was done. When they arrived back at Tina's place, they got ready for bed and went to bed.


	5. The Blowup

It was a month after Valentine's Day…

"Rachel, are you sure you want to work with her?" Kurt asks her.

"No one else agreed to do it with me" She says bitterly "Not even you…" She says as she looked down. She doesn't want Kurt to know how much it hurts her.

Kurt sits down in front of her. "Rachy…" He wants to take her hand but she rejects it and stands up.

"I need to meet Quinn… I'll call you later." She says and runs out of the room. Kurt notices that she forgot her journal on his night stand. He looks at the cover and reads it.

_Property of Rachel Barbra Berry  
Return to owner if found  
Do not look inside please  
Thank you. _

He gets up and sees Rachel driving away. He sighs as he sits down _'I messed up, her idea is actually a good idea.' _He looks at the journal _'That's her journal, reading it is wrong and could ruin our friendship if she finds out'. _He looks at the journal for what feels like hours but in fact was only seconds. He can't resist the temptation anymore and opens it. _'One entry, that's all'_ He tells himself and opens to the last page.

_Dear Diary_

_Today I told everyone my idea of using original songs again and someone agreed with me! Just not the person I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be Kurt, not Quinn! He says it is a good idea to me but when we are at Glee rehearsals he doesn't talk or agree with me that it's a good idea. Quinn was the one who agreed with me. Quinn of all people. Weird, I know. Maybe she wants to be friends now. That would be amazing. I really need friends. Kurt, Tina, Mike, and Puck are amazing friends but I need a girlfriend, one whom I can share secrets and stuff with. Tina has Mike. Mike has Tina. Puck has his… MILFs. Kurt has his fashion and dad. He shouldn't have to spend his whole day with a loser like me. I can't talk to my dads… they would never listen. They would ask how glee is then they would get annoyed and disappointed that I am not getting solos and that I should be the leader of the glee club. They will kill me if I don't have the solo for regionals. I need it… I could never tell Kurt how dad and daddy are. How they hurt me when I don't meet their expectations. He would want to help me more than he already does. He has done so much already. I love him, more than a friend should… But he will never know this. He would never love me and that kills me every day inside. I mean he dated Brittany, the hottest girl at school and he didn't want her. So why would he want me. I lo-_

The door burst open. "I forgot m-" Rachel started to say and looked at him with her journal in his hand.

"Y-You're reading it…" She shrieked and tears started to form in her eyes. She runs to him and grabs her journal out of his hands and darts out. Kurt just sits there, not sure how to feel about all this. He hears Carol ask Rachel what is wrong but he still doesn't move. _'She loves me… her dads… oh god…'_ Carol comes up and knocks on the open door.

"Kurt, honey, what is going on with Rachel? She ran out crying. Did Finn come in and say something?" Carol asks.

Kurt shakes his head and looks down. "No, it was me. I read her journal…" Kurt wore a look of shock on his face.

"Oh... What did it say that she wouldn't want you to see?" She sits down and wraps an arm around him.

Kurt shakes his head "S- she wrote that she loves me… and her dads hurt her… " He tears up as he rambles on. "She hates herself… and I helped her hate herself. She thinks I don't love her like she loves me" Kurt is starting to hyper ventilate

"Kurt calm down. It's all going to be okay" Carol tried to calm him down.

"I'm so confused at what to do, she probably hates me now. I'm a monster "Carol pulls him into her as Kurt cries into her.

"I'm sure she'll understand if you tell her the truth Kurt" She tries to help him.

"That's if she ever wants to speak to me again" He cried harder.

* * *

Rachel gets to school and hides her journal under the seat. "Damn it! Damn it! Damn It!" She yells as she hits her hands on the steering wheel and waits a while before she takes a deep breath to calm down and gets out. She walks to the auditorium and goes to Quinn.

"You're late." Quinn says dryly.

"We are friends right?" Rachel says softly.

"Yeah… I guess so." Quinn says slowly, trying to figure out what Rachel was getting at. The only reason Quinn agreed with Man Hands is to try keeping her away from Finn.

"So I can ask you something?" Rachel asked hesitantly.

"If it is about Finn, just forget it. He is mine not yours! You will never get him! You will never be good enough for him!" Quinn yelled as she got angry.

"It's not about Finn" Rachel is taken back and tears up. "You don't like my idea do you?"

"No, I don't .I just wanted to make sure that you weren't thinking of trying to get Finn back." Quinn says and rolls her eyes.

"I really have no interest in Finn anymore" Rachel countered.

"Tell that to someone who'll believe you." Quinn smirked

"Then why did you think my idea for an original song was good?" Rachel asks.

"I wanted to distract you and besides you are not good enough to think of a good idea." Quinn rolls her eyes again and leaves the auditorium.

Rachel feels the stinging of her tears and wipes them away before taking a deep breath and leaving the auditorium.


	6. AN

**Sorry All my readers. **

**I have to take a break from my story. Just untill Jan 8th. I have no computer at home and cant be at school till then. Sorry but I will hopefully got back to writing more than. I might be able to type and publish my chapters but I might not. **

**Have a great holiday and new years. **

**~Hayley~ **

**P.S. Let's hope the world doesnt end xD**


	7. The Mixer

It was begging of a school year. Nothing happened to Rachel and Kurt over the summer, except they got back to being friends. Kurt said sorry and Rachel said she was overreacting. They never talked about her crush or her dads.

Kurt walks up to Rachel and smiles. "Hey Rach." He said and hugs her.

She hugs him back. "Hey Kurt, how was the rest of your summer?" She asked and let's go of him.

Kurt started talking about his trip to Chicago, but Rachel wasn't paying attention. She was trying to forget the pain she was in. Her dads had been mad when she wasn't accepted to a summer dance class. They were worse than usual and Rachel was trying to hide her pain. Kurt finished talking so Rachel said, "That sounds amazing!"

Kurt smiles and takes her and starts to pull her to the choir room. "Ouch." Rachel called out and pulled her hand back.

Kurt stops and turns to her. "What did I do?" He said, worried he hurt her.

"Um… I sprained my wrist... It's nothing." Rachel tries to cover up.

"Can I see?" Kurt asked softly. Rachel shook her head and looked down, holding her wrist. "And why not?"

"It's nothing." Rachel says quickly and goes to the choir room and sits in the back, ignoring Tina, Mike and Puck.

Kurt walks in and sits by her. "Let me see." He demands. Rachel sighs and moves closer and shows him the bruised wrist. Kurt gasps and covers his mouth. Rachel covers her wrist. "It was your dads, wasn't it?" Kurt asks softly and quietly. Rachel just nods and looks up front.

Both of their minds were running. Kurt was thinking of ways to help Rachel and get her out of the house. Rachel was thinking of ways to get Kurt to forget this and just let it go.

* * *

At the end of the glee practice, everyone left but Kurt and Rachel stay. He turned to her and was about to talk, when Miss Pillsbury came in. "Kurt and Rachel, come with me." She said and left. Rachel and Kurt got up and followed her. They sat down in her office and looked at her. "I know you guys want to go to NYU, but what major are you heading there to do?"

"The drama department." Kurt answered for them.

"Okay, well I just got the new pamphlets for NYU and there is no drama department." Miss Pillsbury informed them.

"Oh.." Kurt said. Rachel just looked at Emma.

"There is another school in New York, and it is focused on the arts. It is called New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts. It accepts twenty students each year, and it is the top preforming art schools in the country." Emma said and gives them the pamphlet to them. Kurt and Rachel looked at it and grinned. It was perfect for them. "There is a mixer for prospective students in Dayton tonight if you wanted to go."

They nodded and got up. "Thank you Miss Pillsbury." Kurt said and smiled. Emma nodded and the teens left the room. "We have to go there Rach."

"I know. Let's get ready for that mixer." Rachel said and grins for the first time in months.

* * *

Kurt and Rachel walk into the ballroom and are stunned. The group look like themselves. Some of the applicants walk to them.

"Hi! I'm Harmony. What's your name, where are you from and what are your credits?" the first girl says really fast and grins.

Rachel opens her mouth and says, "Well, I'm Rachel-"

Some other people come up and interrupt them. "I'm Hendleson." One guys say.

"I'm Canada." Another guy says and eyes Kurt like a piece of meat.

A guy pushes Canada to the side and sticks his hand out. "I'm Gavroche, named after the feisty French street urchin from Les Mis."

Harmony pushes up front and says with a smile. "I know you totally recognize me. It's 'cause I'm the Gerber baby. I've been acting since I was a fetus. Literally. An ultrasound of me was featured on 'Murder She Wrote.'" She laughs and grins.

I'm starring as Rizzo in an all-male production of Grease. Welcome, welcome, welcome!" Gavroche says and takes Kurt's hand and drags him towards a small stage in the front of the room. "As my future husband, Robert Pattinson always says 'it's refreshing to get new blood.'"

Kurt looks confused and looks at him. "New blood?"

Rachel, Harmony and the other applicants follow. Rachel and Kurt sit down facing the stage. "We have been meeting here each month since we were freshman. Literally." Harmony says and goes to the stage.

"Well actually, Kurt and I just found out about this on Monday, but speaking of refreshing, we put together a number that we just think you're gonna –" Rachel starts to say.

Harmony interrupts Rachel and starts to clap to get everyone's attention. "Places! You're just in time to see a little number we've been fussin' around with. Thank God there was a Bar Mitzvah here on Saturday and I convinced them not to strike the stage. So sit back, relax, and most importantly, enjoy."

Kurt and Rachel flashes fake smiles as the other applicants take their place on the stage.

"Oh my God." Kurt says threw his teeth.

"I know. Just breathe and smile. Just because they look like us and act like us doesn't mean they're better than us."

**(NYADA Hopefuls, **Harmony, **Harmony with the NYADA Hopefuls****)**  
Times have changed,  
And we've often rewound the clock,  
Since the Puritans got a shock,  
When they landed on Plymouth Rock.  
If today, any shock they should try to stem,  
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,  
Plymouth Rock would land on them.

**In olden days a glimpse of stocking  
Was looked on as something shocking,  
But now God knows,  
Anything Goes.  
Good authors too who once knew better words,  
Now only use four letter words  
Writing prose, Anything Goes.  
**  
Anything you can be  
I can be greater.  
Sooner or later,  
I'm greater than you.

**No, you're not.**

Yes, I am.

**No, you're not.**

Yes, I am.

**No, you're Not!**

Yes, I am (**No, you're not.)**  
Yes, I am! (**No, you're not!)**

**The world has gone mad today  
And good's bad today,  
And black's white today,  
And day's night today,  
When most guys today  
That women prize today  
Are just silly gigolos  
Any note you can hold  
I can hold longer.  
**  
I can hold any note  
Longer than you.

**No, you can't.**

Yes, I can

**No, you can't.**

Yes, I can

**No, you can't.**

Yes, I can

Yes, I

**In olden days a glimpse of stocking  
Was looked on as something shocking,  
But now, God knows,  
Anything Goes.**

Yes!

**No!**

I

**You!**

Can! (**Can't**)

**Anything goes! **

* * *

Kurt and Rachel sit in the car later on, crying their eyes out. "I've never, I've never been so humiliated in my life." Rachel cries out and wipes her eyes.

"Me either. And that's a really high bar." Kurt says softly.

"I mean they were so, ughh." Rachel says and sighs.

"Fabulous. Rachel, we might be hot stuff at McKinley but outside those walls, we aren't even stuff. Have we been so deluded and arrogant? What if we're not good enough to make it?" Kurt cries out.

"No. there's only one thing to do. We just have to move to another town and just erase our identities and just resign to a sad life of community theatre." Rachel cries into her hands.

"Don't say that." Kurt said angry. He would love the idea of running away with Rachel, but they were going to make it. "You know what? I'm ending this pity party right now, okay? Take a look at yourself." He turns the mirror to her. "What do you see? C'mon."

"Sad, puffy, red eyes filled with dashed hopes and dreams." Rachel says softly and looks away. She didn't want to see her ugly self anymore.

"Rachel Berry. One of a kind. There's no-one like you." Kurt says and takes her hand. "But you are fierce, Rachel. Your ambition does push-ups while you sleep. Nobody wants it more than you. Nobody. And you're not giving up on this. 'Cause I'm not gonna let you. You are getting into that school." He says and smiles.

Rachel looks at him and grins. "You make me want to be your boyfriend."

"Why boyfriend?" Kurt asks.

"Because you're gay silly." Rachel smiles and laughs.

"I'm not..." Kurt sighs and looks at her. "I'm not gay. I made it up so Mercedes wouldn't be mad at me for liking you in our freshman year. I like you."

Rachel sits there and blinks. "You do?" Kurt nods and Rachel grins. "I like you too!"


	8. The Audition

A few days after the NYADA mixer, Rachel and Kurt were sitting by Rachel's pool, dipping their feet in. Rachel was in a yellow tank top and shorts, while Kurt was in just shorts. "I think we should keep the relationship a secret…" Kurt announced.

Rachel looks over shocked; she wanted to show off Kurt as her boyfriend. She was kind of hurt; maybe he was ashamed to be dating her. Maybe he was just trying to get over Blaine and this is how he was doing it. "W-why?" She asked tentively, trying to hide the pain.

"I just don't want people making fun of us or thinking we are just doing this for attention." He says and looks at her. He knew she was hurt, but he didn't want people to be even meaner to her because she was dating him. He didn't want her hurt though.

"Oh… Okay, fine." She fake smiles at him and gets up. "I'm going to get some drinks." She kissed him on the cheek and went inside.

Kurt knew she was hurting. Rachel loved flaunting that she could get a boyfriend and wanted people to know who she was dating, but he just couldn't let her get humiliated. Kurt sighs and lays back. Dating Rachel Berry needs a manual.

Rachel hurried inside and ran to the bathroom. She didn't want to be a pain, but of course she was. She always was, to her dads, to the Glee club, to Finn, Puck and now Kurt. She sat on the toilet and sighs. She knew he had a good reason, but she wanted to flaunt that she had a boyfriend, a boyfriend who loved her. She sighs one last time and gets up. Dating Kurt Hummel needs a manual.

* * *

Kurt walked into the choir room and smiled. Rachel was wearing a jean skirt, blue legging and a blue tank. She looked beautiful, and he wanted more than anything to run up to her and kiss her, but he couldn't. Mercedes was in the room. Kurt started to walk to Rachel when Mercedes stepped in front of her. "Hey Kurt." She smiles and steers him away from Rachel. "We need to talk." She continued and sat down.

Kurt looked at Rachel and then sat down. "Okay….?" He said softly. He didn't know what Mercedes was planning but he liked to give people a chance.

"I miss you." She says and smiles. "I miss our sleep overs, or daily trips to Breadsticks and our talks of boys. I want you as a friend."

"What about Rachel?" Kurt asks. He knew he couldn't talk to Mercedes about boys nor have sleepovers, but if he could get her as a good friend and a friend of Rachel's then everything would be better. He did miss her, but Rachel was more important.

"What about her?" Mercedes asked.

"Are you going to be her friend too or keep messing with her?" Kurt asked.

"No why would I? She is stupid and ugly. No one should like her. You will be more popular with me!" Mercedes cries out.

Kurt looks at Rachel and sees she isn't even hurt by what Mercedes said, but he was. "Rachel is the best person in the world. She is my best friend and will always be. I love her and she loves me. Please leave Rachel and me alone for the rest of your or our lives." He says and gets up and goes to Rachel. "Hey princess." He smiles and sits down by her. She just laughs and hugs him.

* * *

A few days later Rachel saw a signup sheet for the fall musical. West Wide Story! She runs to Kurt, grinning. "Kurt."

He turns to her and smiles. "See the signup list?" He laughs. He knew she would be happy about the choice of the musical. "Want to sign up together?" She nods like a mad person and runs to the poster. He saw her write their names down and run back. "What scene?"

* * *

Kurt and Rachel walk onto the stage and smile at the directors, Beiste, Emma and Artie. "Hello you two, what roles are you auditioning for?" Emma asks them.

"I am auditioning for the role of Maria and Kurt for Tony." Rachel states and grins.

Artie starts to laugh but covers up with a cough. "Really Kurt?"

"Yes, is that a problem?" Kurt asked. He knew people would be surprised but he didn't care. He wanted to be Tony and didn't want Rachel playing Maria with anyone else.

"No, not at all. What song?" Beiste asks.

"Not a song, but a scene from the play West Side Story originated from, Romeo and Juliet." Rachel says grinning. She loved the idea of preforming the scene and will put Kurt and herself over the top. She was worried that people would not pick Kurt because he was auditioning with her, but he said he only wanted to do it with her.

They perform the scene perfectly, until they got to the kiss. Rachel leans in to kiss Kurt and all she hears is laughter. She looks at the directors and see them busting up laughing. She frowns and looks at Kurt. "What are they laughing at?" She whispers to him.

"Us." He whispers back and stands up. "What are you laughing at?!" he yelled at the directors and storms off.

Rachel gets up and starts to go after him. "Rachel, did you want to audition for real?" Artie calls to her.

"That was a real audition. We were doing perfect till you had to be immature." She says to them.

"Did you want to do a song?" Beiste asks her.

"No. After I find Kurt, we will talk to see if we want to perform a song together." Rachel says and then leaves.

"She is perfect for Maria but he isn't." Emma says and sighs.

"I agree." Artie says and calls in the next person.

* * *

Rachel finds Kurt in the choir room and sits down. "Hey."

"Hey honey, sorry for leaving you there. What did they say?" Kurt asks and takes her hand.

"They want me to audition for 'real', but I told them that was a real audition and I would see if you wanted to do a song." She grins at him.

"It's fine if you want to do a song. I'm letting my scene stand alone and if they don't want me, then I will just run for student president." He tells her and kisses her cheek.

"Good back up. I'll just let my scene stand-alone too. Let's go to your house. I need food." Rachel smiles and gets up. Kurt laughs and gets up. He takes her hand and leaves the room with her.


	9. The Call Backs

It had been a week since the audition and Rachel was getting worried. "What if we don't get the parts?" She asked Kurt, the worry slipping into her voice.

"Rachel. We will get the parts. All we have to wait is three more minutes and then we will find out, and even if we don't get the roles we have backups, right?" Kurt said to her and rubs her hand with his thumb.

"No you have a backup. I have nothing." She sighs and looks down. She was worried that Kurt would get the role of Tony and get elected for student president, then NAYDA would want him and she would be stuck in this town alone and never free.

"Rach, we will get the parts. You are the perfect Maria." Kurt encouraged Rachel. In truth, Kurt wasn't worried about Rachel getting the role; he knew she had it in the bag.

They see Artie going to the board and posting the list. They wait till he leaves to run to the board. Rachel finds her name and Mercedes' name by Maria. She looks at the bottom to see

_Call backs for the role of Maria_

_Tuesday 3 P.M. in the auditorium_

_Good luck_

Rachel sighs and looks at Kurt.

Kurt didn't find his name on the list. Blaine was Tony. He frowns and looks at Rachel. "Did you get it?" He asked. He had thought he wouldn't get it but it was still sad.

Rachel shakes her head. "N-No. I have call backs with Mercedes on Tuesday." She says softly.

"Oh, well maybe this is a good thing." He says and frowns. What were the directors thinking! Not casting Rachel as Maria.

"Maybe." Rachel says and takes Kurt's hand and walks to the choir room.

* * *

Rachel walks to the auditorium and smiles at Mercedes, trying to be nice. Mercedes just glares at her. "This is my role little miss bossy." She says.

Rachel just nods and looks at the audience, everyone from glee was there and Rachel looks at Kurt, Tina, Mike and Puck grinning at her. Kurt blows a secret kiss and Puck winks at her.

"Your song is _Out Here on My Own _by Fame. Who wants to go first?" Emma asks Rachel and Mercedes.

"She can go first." Rachel says and walks to the side.

**Mercedes:**  
Sometimes I wonder where I've been  
Who I am  
Do I fit in.  
Make believin' is hard alone,  
Out here on my own

**Rachel:**  
We're always provin' who we are  
Always reachin' for the risin' star  
To guide me far and shine me home

**Rachel and Mercedes:**  
Out here on my own

**Mercedes:**  
When I'm down and feelin' blue  
I close my eyes, so I can be with you

**Rachel:**  
Oh, baby, be strong for me  
Baby, belong to me  
Help me through

**Mercedes:**  
Help me need you

**Rachel:**  
Sometimes I wonder where I've been

**Mercedes:**  
Who I am, do I fit in

**Rachel:**  
I may not win

**Mercedes:**  
But I can't be thrown

**Rachel:**  
Out here

**Rachel and Mercedes:**  
On my own,  
Out here on my own

The audience cheers for them and the girls bow. "Good job girls. You made this very hard for us. We will be in touch." Emma says and gets up. The judges leave and Rachel goes to Kurt and the group.

"You were fantastic!" Puck says to Rachel and grins.

"She was better." Rachel says softly and runs out of the auditorium.

"Where is she heading?" Tina asks.

"No idea but I don't have a good feeling." Kurt says and starts to walk out of the auditorium.

* * *

Kurt walks to Rachel and shuts her locker light and looks at her. Rachel was trying not to look into his eyes. "So, Beiste told me your running against me." He says softly, the hurt in his voice.

"Kurt, you saw Mercedes, okay? I'm not gonna get the part. So I figured, if I win, I'll make you vice president, and then maybe you could just do vice-versa." Rachel looks at him, pleading with her eyes that he will understand.

"Rachel, if you win, yes, it'll better your chances of getting into NYADA, yes. But if I win, it could make a huge difference in my transcripts. I don't have any big on mine, you do. So, whatever it takes, I'm winning." Kurt says.

"Okay, look, I just… I need something for my senior year that's gonna make me special, that's gonna make me stand out. I thought Maria was gonna be that. You understand. You're just as ambitious as I am; that's why we're dating." Rachel says, hoping to get him to understand her side.

"Rachel, in ten years, when you look back on this time, you're not gonna be thinking about the clubs you belonged to or the parts you had. You'll be thinking about the friends you had and…and the ones you just tossed aside. We are done." Kurt says and walks away.

Rachel tears up and just stands there.

Rachel and Mercedes were sitting in Emma's office after school that day, waiting to see who got the part. "Please don't tell us that we have to try out again." Mercedes says to the judges.

"No, we've come to a decision. We're double-casting Maria." Artie tells the girls.

"What the hell is 'double-casting?" Mercedes asks.

"It means that we'll both get to play Maria. You'll get your well-deserved standing ovations on Saturday matinees and Sunday mornings for the Retired Lima War Veterans, and I'll do all the evening performances." Rachel explains to Mercedes.

"Actually, Rachel, we're adding a week. You'll both get four nights and two matinees." Emma explains.

"Fair enough. Mercedes, it'll be a pleasure sharing the spotlight with you." Rachel says to Mercedes. _At least I have Maria left…_ Rachel thought, thinking of Kurt.

"Are you double-casting any other roles?" Mercedes ask the judges, ignoring Rachel. The judges shake their heads. "Thank you for your time." Mercedes gets up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Beiste asks her.

Mercedes turns to Rachel. "Tell me you were better than me. Tell me." Rachel doesn't say anything, just looks down. "Why is it that no one ever wants to hurt her feelings? You know, it's always been "The Rachel Berry Show" around here. But it's not gonna be for me. No, not my senior year."

"Mercedes, don't make this a stupid pride thing." Artie says to her.

"Oh, it's a pride thing. But it's not stupid." Mercedes turn to Rachel again. "Congratulations. You got the part. I don't want it." She turns and walks out of the room.


	10. The first time

Rachel and Blaine sit in the auditorium, singing _Tonight_, for Artie, Emma and Beiste. At the end Beiste is crying, and everyone else was looking at her. "Are you gonna cry every time we sing?" Blaine asks her.

"I'm such a girl." Beiste says and wipes her eyes.

"Well my only note is more teeth." Emma says and grins at them.

"Can I be honest? This song is about sexual awakening, as is the entire musical. You two lack passion. Have either of you two actually…?" Artie asks, looking at the two. You could since the awkwardness in the room.

"Wow. Okay. I have to go." Emma says. She gets up and leaves.

"Those footballs ain't gonna inflate themselves." Beiste says and follows Emma.

"Look, I remember my first time with Brittany. The excitement, the way it made me feels like a man. Even though she called me the wrong name like, four times. During and after. What was it like for you guys?" Artie says, ignoring the two adult who left.

"W- Um..." Rachel stutters. She wanted to wait for Kurt or someone else who loved her.

"I'm waiting for the right time and person." Blaine says, also thinking of Kurt.

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah, me too." Rachel says right after Blaine. She leans over to Blaine and whispers, "So glad you're my Tony."

"Look. As your friend, I support your strange aversion to fun. But, as your director, I'm concerned." Artie says to them.

"I'm sorry, what do you mean?" Rachel asks.

"Well, how do you expect to convey the human experience to an audience when you haven't even opened yourself up to one of humanity's most basic and primal ones?" Artie tells them.

* * *

Rachel is hanging election poster in the hall the next day, when Finn comes up to her. "Hey Rach." He grins a lopsided smile down at her. "Need help?"

"Um, sure." She says and hands him the posters. "One over there." She points to the wall. Finn walks over and puts it up. "Who are you voting for?"

"Not sure. I mean you're… my one true love and he is my brother." Finn says and smiles at her.

"You still love me?" Rachel says, shocked.

"Of course." Finn grins.

"Oh, what about Quinn?" She asks.

"Um, she was just a phase. You are single and so am I. Let's get back together." Finn says. _I hate lying to her, but Quinn says I'll get to home if I humiliate Rachel more. _Finn thinks.

Rachel just looks at him. _Kurt will never forgive me so I'm never getting him back. I don't want to be alone… _Rachel thinks. "Sure." She smiles softly.

Finn grins and kisses her. "Can't do that with my brother, unless you live in Kentucky." Rachel laughs and kisses him again, a little deeper this time. "What's gotten into you? You never did that when he were dating last time."

"Nothing, its' just the confidence of success. I mean, we sold out the April Rhodes Auditorium for three shows, Jacob Ben Israel's polls have me tied in first place for the presidential race, and I have the hottest guy in school. I hope that my radiance isn't too much for you." Rachel says and grins. _Kurt would love my new confidence. _

"It won't be after Friday night." He says and wraps an arm around her.

"What's Friday night?" Rachel asks and looks up at her.

"That is the day that the recruiter from Ohio State is coming, and they're looking for a new quarterback." Finn explains.

"Really? That's amazing! It's really happening. You know, our dreams are coming true, we're growing up." Rachel exclaims. She always loved when Finn would talk about football, he sounded so passionate, like when Kurt talked about his fashion. _I miss Kurt._ She thinks.

"I know. And hey, I was thinking, um, Burt and my mom are out canvassing all week, and I have the house to myself. Maybe you could come over." Finn suggests.

"To your house?" Rachel thinks about it. _I could lose my virginity in time for opening night._ She thinks and smiles at Finn, "I'll be there at six."

* * *

Kurt knocks on Blaine's door. He had received a text asking him to come over, and with no Rachel to distract him, Kurt needed company. Also, Finn kicked him out for the night. Blaine let him in and followed him to Blaine's room.

After an hour of just listening to Blaine talking about the play, Rachel and saying how cute Kurt looked today, Blaine was standing and dancing to Roxy and Kurt was sitting on the bed.

"Do you think I'm boring?" Kurt asked. He was thinking of Rachel again and how he always stopped her from moving father in their past make out sessions. Maybe he wasn't straight, no he was. He was just scared since it is his first time.

"Are you crazy? You are the single most interesting kid in all of Ohio." Blaine says and sits down.

"I mean like, sexually. I mean, I playing it very safe by not letting… my partner… well ex-partner, granting their hands visas to travel south of the equator." Kurt says, not wanting Blaine to know he was in the past dating a girl.

"Oh, you were dating someone else?" Blaine asks and sits up straight.

"Um… yeah." Kurt says and looks down.

"Well it's about how you feel about the person and how your morals are." Blaine tells him.

"It is. I'm just wondering have you ever had the urge just to rip off someone's clothes and get dirty." Kurt asks, remembering the day Rachel and he went for Ice Crème. They had an ice crème fight and Rachel took a shower at his house. When she left the bathroom in his shirt and her dance shorts, he just wanted to rip them off her and make love.

"Uh, yeah, but that's why they invented masturbation." Blaine says and laughs. "But in all seriousness, we're young, we're in high school, and yeah, we have urges, but whatever we do, you wanna make sure that you're comfortable. So everyone and it can be comfortable." Blaine continues.

Kurt nods and Blaine goes back to dancing.

* * *

"If you see any of Rachel's campaign posters, feel free to tear them down." Kurt says to Blaine as they walk to Kurt's locker. He hated blocking out Rachel, but what she did hurt him. He also heard she went back to Finn, so he was extra angry.

"Do you think we're too sheltered as artists? I'm serious. West Side Story is all about living outside of your safe little world; don't you wanna wake up every day and be adventurous? Experience everything in life you can?" Blaine says as they get to the locker.

"Of course. It's why I made a bucket list. Okay. You ready for this?" Kurt says, smiling and getting out a paper. Rachel and him made these soon after they became friends. Blaine nods. "Alright, here we go. Number eighty-seven. Become CEO of Logo."

"Of course." Blaine says and laughs.

"Number sixty-three. Oh, lay a rose at the birthplace of Noel Coward. Number five, Oh wait, never mind…" Kurt says and puts the paper away.

"No what is it?" Blaine says, getting the paper. "Number five. Kiss Rachel Berry?" Blaine looks at Kurt for an explanation.

"She has nice lips. That is it." Kurt lies.

* * *

The night before the opening night of West Side Story, Rachel was at Finn's. She is going to let him sleep with her. They both know they are going to do this, but for different reasons. Rachel to be a better Maria and Finn to humiliate Rachel.

"I brought protection." Finn says. They were sitting in Finn's living room. He had set up some blankets in front of the fire.

"I did too. Every Broadway girl comes prepared." Rachel says and smiles.

"Wait, wait, before we do this, I need to know, why now? The last time we talked about this, you said you wanted to wait until you won a Tony." Finn says, trying to play the role of supportive boyfriend.

"Or any other major award. I mean, a Golden Globe, a People's Choice would have gotten you to third base, but… I don't know what changed, I mean even the thought of going to New York a virgin felt silly to me, but when and who's gonna feel more right than you and now? And I love you." Rachel says and smiles.

"I just wanna make sure this is special enough for you. I can save up for a hotel for us. Some place nice, like a Marriott or something. If we wait a couple of weeks, I can probably-"Finn starts to say.

"No, I want to do this tonight. I love you and I want to help with your needs." Rachel says and kisses him.

* * *

That same night, Kurt and Blaine had gone to the local gay bar, Scandals.

"This is the best night of my life." Blaine says and goes to the car, he was a little tipsy. "It's the best night of my life! I wanna live here. I wanna live here, and I just wanna make art and help people."

"You can certainly help people make fires with your breath." Kurt jokes.

"Hey, c'mon, I only had one beer. Kiss me." Blaine says and pulls Kurt to him and kisses him. Kurt kisses back.

Blaine opens the back seat door and starts to get in and pull Kurt in. "Whoa - whoa - whoa - wait! Alright, oh, oh, oh, alright. Blaine, alright." Kurt pulls away.

"Hey, Kurt, let's just do it. I want you." Blaine says and tries to pull Kurt back.

"No. My first time is not going to be in the back of my car." Kurt says.

"I know you wanted to do it in a field of lilacs with Sting playing in the background and all that, who cares where we are?" Blaine says.

"I do." Kurt says and thinks _I also wanted it to be with Rachel. _

"It's all about us, right?" Blaine says.

"Yes, but I don't want to do it with you while your drunk." Kurt says.

"I'm not that drunk." Blaine says and looks into Kurt's eyes. "Let's go to my house if not the back seat." Blaine suggests.

Kurt thinks about it and how he heard that Rachel was going over to Finn's tonight. "Okay." Kurt finally says and gets into the driver's side.


	11. The Change in Direction

Rachel walks into the auditorium and sees Shelby at the piano. "Hey Rachel."

"Hi." Rachel stops and thinks for a second and then continues walking to Shelby. "I assume you have heard I am applying to the New York School of Dramatic Arts."

Shelby fake groans. "All the girls who beat me out of the auditions graduated from there."

"Well my grades are perfect and I was the lead in the musical and I plan on winning the student elections. So I just need a letter, a killer letter of recommendation."

Shelby looks at Rachel and starts to smile. "Wait, you're asking me to write it?"

"Well I actually already written it, so all you have to do is sign and the resume is in there as well." Rachel hands Shelby the package with the letter in it and Shelby takes out the letter. "I just thought with your pedigree as a nation's show choir coach would make some noise with the commissions committee."

"Makes sense." Shelby says and signs the letter. She hands the letter over to Rachel. "Okay."

"okay. Bye." Rachel says, smiling, and starts to walk out.

"I'm so proud of you." Shelby calls after her. Rachel stops. "You are truly a star Rachel." Rachel turns around and looks at Shelby. "And it's all still out there, in front of you. I'm not going to be the first person a little jealous of the amazing things that are lined up ahead. But I will also be the only one who is cheering you on."

Rachel walks back, grinning. "Maybe you could come to my Broadway debut."

Shelby smiles back. "Try and stop me."

They laugh and Rachel walks to the piano. She sets the letter down and looks at Shelby. "M-Maybe you could write your own version of the letter."

Shelby takes the letter and opens it up. She looks at Rachel's resume and smiles. "Such an impressive resume. You have the musical, and all the clubs, and maybe even student council president. I feel bad for all these kids who don't have all these big ticket items in their CVs. They don't have a chance in hell in getting into NAYDA." Rachel frowns and looks down. "Rachel? Did I say something wrong?"

"No. I did something wrong. Thanks Shelby, again." Rachel says and quickly runs out.

* * *

The Trouble tones and New Directions were having a dodge ball competition, for what Rachel didn't know. She sees Kurt sitting on a crate and walks over. "It could be deadly, I mean heading into our first head on without any adult supervision."

Kurt ignores her

"You know our NAYADA applications are due next week. I only need one more letter of recommendation. I wrote to Penny's website but I haven't got an answer back."

Kurt still ignores her.

"I'm… I'm really… I really miss you Kurt, and I just really want to be your friend again."

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you walked all over me in your borderline sociopathic climb to the top." Kurt gets up and walks to the sidelines.

After the game, Rachel goes to everyone else. "Whoa, that was hard." The trouble tones start hitting Rachel with the balls.

Kurt runs over. "Whoa! Stop! She is bleeding! Maybe that is how others treat us around here, but we don't do this to each other. We're better than this." Kurt helps Rachel to the nurse's office.

* * *

Rachel sits on the nurses' bed, holding a towel to her nose. She was looking down at the blood on her gym shorts. "T-Thanks but I should be fine." Rachel says softly. She was wrong in all of this and she missed Kurt. Kurt looks up, surprised. "I do apologize for things that are my fault, Kurt. You don't need to act so surprised."

Kurt laughs and looks at her. "I know." He sighs. "Why?"

"I was being stupid and selfish. I know this. I knew this when I did it, but I had it in my mind that I had to do something this year to get into NAYADA. At that time I thought I wasn't getting the role of Maria and then after I got the part I was too much involved in the race to drop it."

Kurt just nods. "I slept with Blaine."

Rachel looks up, hurt but guilt in her eyes. "I slept with Finn." She looks down at the blood.

Kurt looks at her. "How was it?"

"Not how I thought it would be. You?"

"Same." Kurt says slowly. The sex wasn't that good. He was lying to Blaine about being Gay and loses his virginity in the same act.

"So I guess you are gay…" Rachel says and frowns.

Kurt was about to tell her he was straight, but the nurse came in. "You are free to go honey." She takes the towel and Rachel gets up.

"See you later Kurt. Thanks for the talk." She smiles softly, not fully and leaves the room.

* * *

Kurt walks to the microphone. "Hello, I'm Kurt Hummel. The past few weeks, I've tried to address the real problem of obesity at this school. But my fellow classmates have promised empty promises and sire tactics. Although she knows it to be untrue, my classmate Brittany has said that my face is used for Hasbro's my little ponies. I refuse to be bullied. As a fact, I refuse anyone to be bullied. Today I want to take it one step further. I would like to here by pledge to ban dodge ball at McKinley high." Kurt takes the microphone and starts stating off facts about the crudity of dodge ball. "I see it as a modern day stoning and I for one want it to see it gone from McKinley." Kurt sits down and Rachel gets up.

"Hello, my name is Rachel Berry and I compline for school book covers, a plan that will save the school thousands of dollars. While I see this plan as a stroke of political greatness, I withdraw my candidness' and urge you all to vote for Kurt Hummel." Rachel looks over to see Kurt looking at her like she is crazy. "He is the only canadate who did not go negative. He is the one who deserves to be president and that is why I am casting my vote for Kurt Hummel. Vote Hummel McKinley, Vote Kurt." Rachel sits down and looks at her hands.


	12. The election

Rachel walked to Kurt's locker, where Jacob was grilling Kurt. "Do you have your consonance speech ready and can I write a preview on my blog?"

"I haven't lost yet. I am only losing by ten percent." Kurt says and smiles at Rachel.

"That is only because Rachel's few voters went to you." Jacob said and sees Brittany. "Madam President!" He calls after her and runs to her.

"Don't listen to him. He is wrong. But maybe we could a cute duet in the cafeteria or library to persuade a few voters." Rachel smiles at him.

"I don't know Rach. I think the only way I would win is doing a JFK." Kurt says and closes his locker.

"You're going to shoot yourself?" Rachel says confused.

"What? No." he laughs lightly. _She really needs to learn more history. _"JFK had his people in Illinois stuff the ballot box so he would win the votes in Illinois and win the election."

"But you don't need to do that. You want to win the right way right?"

"Oh, but that is the only way I can win." Kurt says and wraps his arm around her. "Let's get to class." He leads her to the class.

* * *

Kurt and Rachel were standing in the gym when Jacob walks over. "One last interview till you lose?"

Rachel pushes him away. "He isn't going to lose!" She sighs and hugs Kurt. "You won't lose. See Puck is going into the booth. Puck is voting for you." She smiles at him.

"Yeah." Kurt smiles at Rachel. _She is so positive; you just can't help but smile when she is around. _"I'm gonna go vote, you should too." Kurt walks into the booth.

"I am…" Rachel says softly and walks in.

* * *

Kurt comes up to Rachel. "The ballot was stuffed and they think I did it."

Rachel looks sad. "Oh Kurt… I'm sorry."

"I didn't get the lead in the play, I didn't win the election." Kurt says and starts to cry.

Rachel hugs him. "I'm so sorry..."

"And for a little, I really thought I won." Kurt sighs. "I need to go." Kurt walks away.

* * *

Kurt was sitting in the choir room for glee club, waiting for Rachel. He needed to apologize for leaving earlier. He stands up, "I want to congrates Brittany for the election and clear my name. The people want Brittany and her pixy sticks. Congrates." He sits down and smiles.

After Santana was finished with her song, Rachel came in. "Rachel? What's wrong?" Shelby asks.

"Um… I just told Principal Figgins that I rigged the election, so Kurt would win." She says, crying. "Kurt, please don't hate me. You're totally in the clear." She looks at Kurt, who was ah struck.

"What did he say?" Mike asks.

"He said he had no choice but to put it on my permanent record and I am suspended for a week." Rachel takes a breath and looks down. "Also, I am banned from preforming at sectionals."

* * *

**Sorry its so short but not a lot of Hummelberry in this episode. Christmas ep next. **


	13. The letters

**I know I said this would be the Christmas ep but I relized that it had no Hummelberry in it so I changed it :P**

**Thanks for everyone who revieved the last 12 chapters: Ingrynd, coffeeeyes-blankstares, fatima343, MusicalLover17, Outsiderchick, Gleek182, Caaroowcullen, kimmie837, Ofelglorina, Iheartglee1999, Padfootkicksbutt (Love your name), Harmonious Wolf and the guests. It means a lot to me and helps me continue this story. Thanks for everyone who viewed and favorite this story. I love you all.**

* * *

Kurt runs up to Rachel at her locker and shuts it in her face. "Where is yours?" He asks her.

"Where is my what?" She opens her lockers and gets her books out then looks at him.

"Your NAYDA letter silly," He smiles and looks at her hands for her letter. "I got mine two days ago, but dad just told me last night."

Rachel looks shocked and looks at the letter. "I-I don't have mine…"

Kurt frowned. "What do you mean? Did you leave it at home?" _She had to get her letter. She has to go to New York with me…_

"I didn't get the letter." She says and closes her eyes to hide her tears.

Kurt hugs her. "It will be okay. You will get it."

She cries into him. "I have nothing if I don't get in."

"You have me." He looks at her.

She looks at him. "As a friend?"

"No. Rach, will you take me back?" Kurt asks her.

She nods and hugs him. "I will." He leans her head up and kisses her. She pulls back, "But the people."

"Screw the people." He smiles and kisses her.

* * *

Kurt and Rachel and the glee club sit in the auditorium, waiting for Blaine. He walks out and stands in the middle. "This is for you Kurt."

_When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around  
Those pretty faces always make you stand out in a crowd  
But someone picked you from the bunch, one glance is all it took  
Now it's much too late for me to take a second look_

_Oh baby, give me one more chance (To show you that I love you)_  
_Won't you please let me (Back in your heart)_  
_Oh darlin', I was blind to let you go (Let you go, baby)_  
_But now since I've seen you in his arms. (I want you back)_

_Oh I do now (I want you back)_  
_Ooh ooh baby (I want you back)_  
_Yeah yeah yeah yeah (I want you back)_  
_Na na na na_

_Trying to live without your love is one long sleepless night_  
_Let me show you, girl, that I know wrong from right_  
_Every street you walk on, I leave tear stains on the ground_  
_Following the girl I didn't even want around_

_Oh baby, all I need is one more chance (To show you that I love you)_  
_Won't you please let me (Back in your heart)_  
_Oh darlin', I was blind to let you go (Let you go, baby)_  
_But now since I've seen you in his arms._

_All I want..._  
_All I need..._  
_All I want!_  
_All I need!_

_Is one more chance (To show you that I love you)_  
_Baby (baby) baby (baby) baby (baby!) Yeah_  
_(I want you back)_  
_Oh baby, I was blind to let you go (Let you go, baby)_  
_But now since I've seen you in his arms. (I want you back)_  
_Oh baby, I need one more chance, ha!_  
_(To that I love you)_  
_Oh, baby! Oh! Oh, oh! (I want you back!)_

_Oh I do now (I want you back)_  
_Ooh ooh baby (I want you back)_  
_Yeah yeah yeah yeah (I want you back)_  
_Na na na na (I want you back)_

Kurt sighs and stands up. "Thanks for that Blaine, but I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry." He pulls up Rachel and they leave. "I can't believe he did that. Again."

"Yeah…" Rachel says softly.

Kurt stops and pulls Rachel into him for a hug. "You okay?"

"I don't want to lose you. You're leaving for NAYDA next year and I'm not. What if I'm just a phase and you get rid of me… I'll have nothing." Rachel starts crying and moving out of Kurt's arms.

"Rach, you are coming to New York with me, and I will never get rid of you. I swear." He smiles and takes her hand. "You better?"

Rachel nods and kisses him lightly.

* * *

Rachel and Kurt sit in the park, laying on their backs and playing with each other's hand. "Remember when we did that duet in sophomore year?"

"Yes. I kept looking over and seeing your beautiful face. It was so hard keeping my hands and lips off of you."

Rachel blushes and closes her eyes.

[Flashback]

_Rachel walks to Kurt after the duet challenge was over. "Hey, I had something I wanted to talk to you about." Rachel tells him and smiles. _

"_Oh, please not another pregnancy." Kurt said._

"_I think that you and I are a little bit more similar than you think." Rachel smiles and looks at Kurt. _

"_That's a terrible thing to say." Kurt says. He hated that Mercedes was all buddy buddy with Santana for the week. He had no one to talk to. _

"_I know you're lonely. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to have feelings in high school that you can't act on for fear of being humiliated, ridiculed or worse. We're gonna win Nationals this year, and you know how we're going to do that? Because we have you." Rachel said. She really liked Kurt. He was strong and independent. _

"_That's true." _

"_That's twelve people who love you just for being exactly the way that you are. Look, I know you're lonely, but… you're not alone." Rachel says. Kurt smiles and gets a little teary eyed. He was touched that Rachel was saying these things to him. "So, I was wondering if you would maybe wanna sing a duet with me? I think you'll be really happy with my song selection. It's sort of everything that both you and I love."_

"_But the, uh, duet competition is over." Kurt says, confused that she wanted to sing with him for no reason. _

"_I know. I just… I thought this one could be for me and you." Rachel says and smiles. _

[End of flashback]

"That was a fun day." Rachel says.

"First day that I didn't truly think that you were the worst person on earth, I mean back then I just didn't like you because of Mercedes but that day I didn't let her cloud my judgment." Kurt says and looks at Rachel. "And I'm glad."

Rachel grins and kisses him.

* * *

Rachel runs up to Kurt. "I got the letter!" She yells.

Kurt turns and hugs her. "Oh thank goodness." He holds her tightly.

"I get the chance to get into NAYDA with you." She says and kisses him.

"Thank god. Let's go celebrate." He says and leads her to his car.


	14. The choke of the century

**I know the next ep is On My Way but I don't want to write that because it will be just short and rushed. What happened: Finn and Quinn get married because she is pregnant again and told Finn to marry her. Finn didn't want to but Quinn is pregnant so he told himself he had to. Kurt and Rachel went to the wedding but left early so go on a date. They talked about their future and Kurt told Rachel that one day she will have an amazing wedding in Central Park. **

* * *

_I have brought you to the seat of sweet music's throne...  
to this kingdom where all must pay homage to music...  
music..._

_You have come here, for one purpose, and one alone..._  
_I first heard you sing,_  
_I have needed you with me, to serve me, to sing, for my music..._  
_my music..._

_Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation..._  
_Darkness stirs and wakes imagination..._  
_Silently the senses abandon thier defences..._

_Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendour..._  
_Grasp it, sense it - tremulous and tender..._  
_Turn your face away from the garish light of day,_  
_turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light -_  
_and listen to the music of the night..._

_Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams!_  
_Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before!_  
_Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar!_  
_And you'll live as you've never lived before..._

_Softly, deftly, music shall surround you..._  
_Feel it, hear it, closing in around you..._  
_Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind,_  
_in this darkness which you know you cannot fight -_  
_the darkness of the music of the night._

_Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world!_  
_Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before!_  
_Let your soul_  
_Take you where you long to be!_  
_Only then can you belong to me..._

_Floating, falling, sweet intoxication!_  
_Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation!_  
_Let the dream begin,_  
_let your darker side give in to the power of_  
_the music that I write - the power of the music of the night..._

_You alone can make my song take flight -_  
_help me make the music of the night..._

Rachel sits and thinks about the performance. "More candles?" Kurt asks her.

"No. God no. I think it is perfect." Rachel says and goes on stage.

"What song are you doing?" Kurt asks and takes off the mask and sits it on the table.

"My go to song, Don't Rain on My Parade." Rachel states and grins. "I've been singing it since I was two and it is the song that will get me into NAYDA."

"Oh course it will honey." Kurt says and packs up his stuff.

* * *

Kurt, Rachel and Tina stand behind the curtain in the auditorium, Tina helping Kurt with his performance. "She is out there. Carmen is out there right now and I am going to lose it." Kurt was pacing and getting ancy.

"Kurt. She will love your song. You were made for this role." Rachel smiles and hugs him.

"I want to change my song." Kurt tells Rachel.

Rachel pulls back. "To what?"

"The boy next door."

"That is very risky Kurty." Rachel says softly. She didn't want to stomp on Kurt's vision but she knew she needed him at NAYDA with her and if he didn't do this song perfect, he wouldn't get to go.

"I know but I want to try it." Kurt says. He knows what Rachel is worried about, but he was worried that the original song wasn't risky enough.

"Okay. Try it. I hope it goes good." She hugs him and goes onto the stage for her performance.

"Hello. My name is Rachel Berry and I am singing 'Don't Rain on my Parade."

_Don't tell me not to live,_

_Just sit and putter,_

_Life's candy and the sun's_

_A ball of butter._

_Don't bring around a cloud_

_To rain on my parade!_

_Don't tell me not to fly- _

_I've simply got to._

_Life's candy and the sun's_

_A ball of butter._

Rachel's eyes widen and she covers her mouth. _I messed up the words. _

Kurt's eyes widen as he watches Rachel.

"I'm so so sorry. I just need to start over one last time." She smiles and turns to the band. "One more time."

_Don't tell me not to live,_

_Just sit and putter,_

_Life's candy and the size…_

Rachel stops and places her hands on her face. "I'm so sorry. I know this song backwards. Please just let me start over one more time. I kno-"

"No." Carmen interrupts.

Rachel looks at Carmen. "Excuse me?"

"You get eight bars. I gave you sixteen. Do you know what happens when you forget the words on Broadway? They give your job to your understudy. I'm very sorry but this audition is over." Carmen closes Rachel's file.

"No, please. Give me one more chance. Please." Rachel says crying.

"You need to leave the stage Miss Berry. It is Mr. Hummel's turn." Carmen says and gets Kurt's file ready. Rachel looks at Carmen and then runs out of the auditorium. "Mr. Hummel, it is your turn."

Kurt looks at Rachel running away and then at Tina. "Go do your song Kurt. Rachel will understand." Tina says and pushes Kurt onto the stage.

"My name is Kurt Hummel and I will be doing Not The Boy Next Door."

_Comin' home used to feel so good  
I'm a stranger now in my neighborhood  
I've seen the world at a faster pace  
And I'm comin' now from a diff'rent place_

_Though I may look the same way to you_  
_Underneath there is somebody new_

_I am not_  
_The boy next door_  
_I don't belong_  
_Like I did before_  
_Nothin' ever seems like it used to be_  
_You can have your dreams, but you can't have me_

_Oh, I can't come back there anymore_  
_'Cause I am not the boy next door_

_You've been savin' those souvenirs,_  
_Faded photographs from our foolish years_  
_We made plans, but they're wearin' thin_  
_And they don't work out 'cause I don't fit in_

_And those mem'ries will just weigh me down_  
_'Cause I got no place to keep 'em uptown_

_I am not_  
_The boy next door_  
_I don't belong_  
_Like I did before_  
_Nothin' ever seems like it used to be_  
_You can have your dreams, but you can't have me_

_Oh, I can't go back there anymore_  
_'Cause I am not the boy next door, uh!_

_I'm not sorry for just bein' me_  
_But if you'd look past the past you could see_  
_That I am not (I am not the boy next door)_

_Nothin' ever seems like it used to be_  
_You can have your dreams, oh, but you can't have me_  
_I can't go back there anymore_  
_'Cause I am not (You are not)_  
_I am not (You are not)_  
_I am not the boy next door_

Kurt finishes the song and bows. "Thank you for this audition." He says quickly and runs out.

_If anyone asks,  
I'll tell them we both just moved on  
When people all stare  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk  
Whenever I see you,  
I'll swallow my pride  
and bite my tongue  
Pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong_

_Is it over yet?_  
_Can I open my eyes?_  
_Is this as hard as it gets?_  
_Is this what it feels like to really cry?_  
_Cry!_

_If anyone asks,_  
_I'll tell them we just grew apart (Tell them we just grew apart)_  
_Amd what do I care_  
_If they believe me or not (They believe me or not)_  
_Whenever I feel_  
_Your memory is breaking my heart_  
_I'll pretend I'm okay with it all_  
_Act like there's nothing wrong_

_Is it over yet?_  
_Can I open my eyes?_  
_Is this as hard as it gets?_  
_Is this what it feels like to really cry?_  
_Cry!_

_I'm talking in circles_  
_I'm lying, they know it_  
_Why won't this just all go..._  
_...Away!_

_Is it over yet?_  
_Can I open my eyes?_  
_Is this as hard as it gets?_  
_Is this what it feels like to really cry?_  
_Cry!_  
_Cry!_

He sits with her. "It's over." She says.

"Baby… it's not. The part that you sang was amazing…" Kurt says and sits by her. He pulls her to his lap and kisses her.

"Whoa!" puck says, as Tina, Mike and Puck come in the room. "What is going on?"

Rachel blushes and hides her face in Kurt's neck. "We are dating." Kurt tells them.

"I knew it! I was right!" Tina yells. Rachel and Kurt laugh.

"So you're not gay?" Mike asks.

"If you are and just messing with Berry, I will kick your ass." Puck threatens.

"No I am not gay. I said that to get Mercedes away." Kurt says and smiles. "I love Rachel."

Rachel looks up at Kurt shocked. "Y-You love me?"

Kurt looks shocked that he said it. "Yeah I do. I wanted to say it at our date tonight but it's all good." He smiles and kisses her nose. Rachel laughs and nuzzles his neck. "it will be okay princess."

* * *

**Two updates in one day, aren't you lucky. **

**sorry for the updates on the odl chapters. I noticed some messups and had to fix them. **


	15. The Prom No One Will Forget

**The outfits for Prom:**

**Rachel's: cgi/set?id=71044581**

**Tina's outfit: tinas_prom/set?id=71042577**

* * *

Rachel sits on her bed, looking at all her Broadway memorials. She had blown NAYDA and now had nothing, but Kurt and the gang. She sighs. "I'll have smaller dreams now."

"You are a failure Rachel." Her dad, Leroy, came in. Her other dad, Hiram, was behind him. They looked mad and had duct tape with them.

Her eyes widen. "Daddy… please not the duct tape. It rips off the skin…" Rachel started to plea with her dads. She knew this would be coming soon. She failed her NAYDA audition so why would they let her be free.

"You should have thought about that when you forgot the words that we have been singing to you since you were in your birth mother's womb. You know that song girl!" Hiram yelled and grabs Rachel by her hair. Leroy taped her mouth and her hands behind her back. "Worthless girl."

They throw her in the downstairs closet and shut the door.

* * *

Rachel sits on stage, rubbing her wrist. The skin on them had come off when her dads took it off. "Hey princess." Kurt calls to her.

Rachel puts her bracelets back on and looks up. "Hey Kurt." Rachel says softly. Her throat hurt from screaming threw the tape.

Kurt sits by her and gives her a small kiss and takes her hand in his. "So Miss Berry, would you do me a favor?"

"What is it?" Rachel asks.

"Go to Prom with me." Kurt says and looks at her.

Rachel just looks at him. "As a date?" _I don't have money for a dress or anything for prom, and I can't have a dress that shows my shoulders off, daddy left bruises. _

"Yes. I, Kurt Hummel, am asking The Rachel Berry to prom." Kurt says with a big grin. "Sorry it's not in a better way. I just don't want anyone else to ask you."

Rachel almost laughed at the thought. _Someone else ask me to prom? Fat Chance. _"Are you sure you want to go? I don't want people to think you're weird for going with me." Rachel looks down.

"I don't care what people think. I want them to see that I have the best girlfriend and no one can have her." Kurt says and slips an arm around Rachel's waist.

"Okay…" Rachel says softly. "I just need to get a dress…" She adds sadly.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asks, looking concerned.

Rachel looks away. "Umm… I don't have money for a dress or flower thing for you… but I will figure something out." Rachel smiles softly and gets up. "I'll go start now. Love you." She says quickly and runs out.

Kurt watches and frowns, worried.

* * *

"Are you going to Prom?" Rachel asks Tina and Puck.

"Yes." Tina says and grins.

"No." Puck says.

"Why?" Tina and Rachel ask Puck.

"No one to go with and don't want to." Puck shrugs and smiles.

"I don't want to go either but Kurt is really into it." Rachel says.

"Why don't you want to go?" Tina asks Rachel.

"Not my thing…" Rachel plays with her fingers. _And I have nothing to wear and Kurt shouldn't have to go with a loser. _

"That is such a lie. What is the real reason? Aren't your dads all into things to make your stand out?" Puck asks.

"Um, dads are in Florida for a while." Rachel lies.

"Okay so come over to my house and we can get ready." Tina suggested.

Rachel sighs and nods. "Okay."

Tina starts talking to her and planning, but all Rachel could think is about how she would get a dress and hide her bruises and that wouldnt embarrasse Kurt.

* * *

Rachel was sitting on Tina's bed, watching her get ready. Rachel was already ready but didn't want to be. She was in a hideous pink and yellow dress. It was the cheapest thing at the second-hand store. She had on her pink sneakers and this yellow wrap. She hid her bruises as much as she could, but she didn't want to take the chance of Kurt or Puck seeing them. They would never let it down. Tina did her hair and make-up. She had yellow eye shadow and light pink lip stick. Tina did her hair straight and it looked amazing.

Tina looked amazing in her black dress and see threw wrap. She had her hair side up and had a purple eye shadow, and black heels. It looked amazing.

"The boys should be here soon." Tina says and smiles at Rachel.

Rachel smiles softly, excited to see Kurt. They hear a knock on the door and smile. "They are here."

They get up and go to the door. "Hey love." Mike says to Tina and kisses her.

Kurt goes to Rachel and smiles. "Hey Princess." He kisses her lightly.

"Hey Kurt." Rachel says softly, hoping he didn't think she looked hideous. He uses to always mock her outfits but everything she wore was from a second-hand store. She didn't want to wear the clothes but that is all she had.

"You look… good." Kurt says and puts a pink flower on her wrist.

Rachel frowns slightly but hides it. _Of course he hates it. It is hideous. People are going to make fun of him for going with me. _

They all get into the limo Mike's parents supplied and drive to the prom. They all go in and look around. "Want to get pictures?" Rachel asks Kurt.

"Um… not right now." Kurt says and leads her to the floor. "Dance with me."

"Okay." They dance for a while and then sit down. "You don't like my dress do you?"

"Not really princess. It's just not what I thought you would wear." Kurt said and takes her hand.

"Is that why you don't want photos? You're embarrassed by me?" Rachel says and tears up.

"It's my first prom with a girl. Just try to see it from my side." Kurt says.

Rachel nods and takes her hands away. "I get it. I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

Kurt frowns and goes to take her hand again, but she move it away and looks up at the stage. Principal Figgins was on the stage with the Prom King and Queen canadates. "It is time to announce your 2012 Prom Queen and King." He says and opens the first envelope. "Your King is… Jacob Israel." Everyone but Quinn and Finn looked shock. Jacob runs up on stage and grins. The crown is placed on his head. "Your Queen is Rachel Berry." Rachel's eyes widen and look around.

"Come on Rachy! You won." Quinn says and smiles fakely.

Rachel slowly gets up and goes up there. Figgins places the crown on her head. "Now the Queen and King will have their slow dance. If everyone would make a spot." Everyone move around and Jacob leads Rachel to the center and they start dancing. Halfway through the dance, Rachel sees Karofsky and the hockey team coming up. They get close to the edge of the people and throw slushie on Rachel and Jacob. Everyone starts laughing and Rachel starts crying and runs to the bathroom. She gets the slushes out of her hair and eyes when Tina, Mike and Kurt walk in. "Princess?" Kurt says softly.

"No right now Kurt." Rachel says sinks down the wall. "Why.." Rachel brings her knees up to her chest and cries into them. Kurt sits down and wraps an arm around her and she leans into him.

"Shh it's going to be okay. It will be okay." Kurt says and comforts her.

"I'll get the limo." Mike says and leads Tina out.

* * *

They all are laying in Mike's living room. Mike holding Tina and sleeping. Kurt was holding Rachel and rubbing her back. "I'm sorry Kurt." Rachel says into Kurt's chest.

"For what Princess?" Kurt asks.

"Embarrassing you." Rachel says and sighs.

"Rachel, you did not embarrass me. You made the night better and I shouldn't have been such an ass. I'm sorry." Kurt says and kisses her head.

"I love you Kurty." Rachel says and closes her eyes.

"Love you too Princess." Kurt says as they fall asleep.


	16. The Acceptance

**I fogrgot a scene in this so I am reposting it :D**

* * *

Rachel goes up to Tina, Mike, Puck and Kurt. "I called NAYDA. They sent out the letters."

"Oh god, this is exciting." Kurt says and wraps an arm around Rachel.

"And terrifying. Soon I won't see you guys anymore. Kurt and Rachel are going to the Big Apple and Mike and Tina are going to California. Where am I going?" Puck says.

"Well where do you want to go?" Rachel asks him.

"L.A." Puck says. "I want to write scripts."

"Well go there. Do your pool thing while writing. Go to a Community school or Junior school." Tina offers him.

Puck nods and smiles.

"We need to make a pack. First to open our letters together in the choir room and two stay in touch, even if it is only once a week." Rachel says.

"Yes. I need you all, especially if I have to be with Rachel all the time." Kurt jokes.

They all laugh. "Pinky promise?" Rachel asks.

They all do a pinky promise.

* * *

Rachel sits down and hands Kurt his yearbook. "I know we gave each other two days, but I'm done."

"I didn't finish yours yet." Kurt says and looks at her.

"It's okay, maybe you can use it as a example." Rachel says.

"Want me to read it now?" Kurt asks, smiling.

"No I want you to read it later." Rachel says, grinning. "Yes I want you to read it now."

Kurt laughs and opens it up.

"Dear Kurt.

I love you so much. You have challanged me, insipired me, and taught me the importance of having a

signature style. You are the bravest person I have ever met and because of you, I will never appoligize for

who I am or how I look, even with this nose."

Kurt looks up, tearing up. "I love your nose."

"Thank god we are going to New York together, because I don't think I could survive without my

best friend and soul mate. Which you are to me. I love you forever and see you on Broadway.

Rachel Berry."

Kurt sighs and looks up, both of them crying. "I love you." Rachel says as Kurt takes her hand.

"I love you." Kurt says.

* * *

Tina, Mike and Kurt set their letters on a stool and wait for Rachel. Rachel comes in with a slushie on her shirt, but smiling. "It's time." Kurt moves to her and takes her hand. She sets her letter on the stool. "Who is first?"

"I will." Mike says and picks up his letter. Tina and Puck move to Kurt and Rachel and holds hands. Mike opens the letter and smiles. "I got in."

Tina grins and hugs him. "I'll go next." She picks up her letter and opens it. She grins. "In." Mike hugs and kisses her.

"Me next." Rachel says and picks up her letter. She kisses Kurt and opens the letter. "I got in." She grins. "No more Lima or dads!" She hugs Kurt and he kisses her.

Kurt then picks up his letter and smiles. "I'm next." He opens the letter and frowns.

"Kurt…" Rachel says softly.

"I didn't get in…" Kurt says softly.

"Oh Kurt…" Rachel frowns and goes to touch his arm, but Kurt moves away. "Kurt?"

"I need time Rachel." Kurt says and leaves the room.

* * *

Rachel walks to her locker and starts cleaning it out. Kurt walks up and kisses her cheek. "I'm sorry Princess."

Rachel turns to him and gives him a smile. "It's okay. I understand and come to a conclusion."

"And what is that?" Kurt asks and helps cleans her locker.

"I'm deferring my college acceptance till next year so I can go with you." Rachel says and grins.

Kurt stops and looks at her. "What?"

"I can't go without you Kurt and this way we can go together." Rachel says and closes her locker. "Let's go to dinner. You can pay." Rachel says and laughs. She takes Kurt's hand and leads him out of the school.

Rachel gets in Kurt's car. "So where are we going?" She smiles and buckles up.

"Not saying." Kurt says and starts driving.

After a while they get to the train station. "We're here."

Rachel looks out the window and then at Kurt. "Why are we here?"

"You're on the 4:20 train to New York." Kurt says and looks at her.

"W-What?" Rachel looks at him and tears up. "Don't you want me here with you?"

"More than anything, but I can't keep you here and stay with your dads. I can't let them hurt you anymore. This town is too small. You need New York." Kurt says and wipes her tears.

"Then come with me. We can get a little shoe box apartment and live together." Rachel says and takes his hands.

"I can't Princess. My life is here for this year." Kurt says. "I'll visit and you'll visit. Please Rachel, get on the train."

Rachel nods and kisses him. "I love you so much."

Kurt gets out of the car and gets her bag. He opens the door for Rachel and she gets out. He gives her the wheeled suit case. "This has good clothes in it. My dad and I bought you some clothes so you show people that you are amazing as I know you are."

Rachel tears up. "Thank you Kurty." She takes his hand and he leads her to the docking station. She sees Tina, Mike and Puck. She hugs each one of them and cries. She gets on the train and places a hand on the window. Kurt stands outside and the others are waving like mad. As the train starts, Rachel starts crying more and Kurt runs to keep up with her till he can't. Rachel turns right in her seat and sobs into her hands.


	17. The New York Dream

Rachel was in her dance class and her teacher was getting them ready. "Welcome to NAYDA. This is dance 101 and my name is Cassandra July. If your body is not physically morphed, then you don't want it that much." Cassandra started them doing pekay turns. "Let's get this straight freshman. There might be only two of you who are cut out for this business. For the rest of you, thank you for paying my rent on my loft in SoHo." Cassandra moves over to the girl in front of Rachel. "Hey what's your name muffin top?"

"Uh, Lidia." The girl stutters.

Cassandra put a hand on Lidia's back. "No your name is muffin top, and from now on its rice cakes and ipecac. Or cut off a butt cheek because you need to lose a few." Cassandra walks past Rachel as Rachel rolls her eyes. "Hold on, hold it." Cassandra walks to Rachel. "I'm sorry; did my conversation with muffin top offend you?"

"No." Rachel says and smiles at Cassandra.

"And what's your name?" Cassandra walks around Rachel.

"Rach-"

"Little Miss David Swimmer." Cassandra interrupts her.

"Little Miss David Swimmer." Rachel says and nods.

"I bet you were a big star in Iowa." Cassandra says and smirks.

"I'm actually from Ohio." Rachel corrects her.

"Ohio! Oh that is even worst. Have you ever seen a map? Ohio is like a turd that Michigan can't pinch off. So did you come to New York to show me how to run my class?" Cassandra asks Rachel.

"N-No… I came to learn." Rachel says.

Cassandra turns around and starts walking away. "Okay. Lesson one. You're pekay turns are horrible and your stuck up attitude is really pissing me off. Music." The music starts to play and Cassandra claps to the beat. Everyone starts moving again.

It was Rachel's turn and when she turns she falls down. Cassandra kneels down. "I don't need any help."

"No sweetie, I'm not coming down here to help you. I'm here to give you a big New York welcome. You suck." Cassandra gets up and walks away.

* * *

Rachel watches Jacob Israel's video _it's nice to know I'm missed. New York can make a girl lonely. I miss my friends. _She picks up a photo of her and Kurt. _I miss Kurt. I haven't heard from him in two weeks. Maybe he is giving me the space I need to make it on my own. I bet my roommate is nice. I haven't officially met her yet. She always has company. And I never want to get in the middle of that. _Rachel shoves two pillows on her ears. _I wish Kurt had gotten into NAYDA with me. _

Rachel goes to the showers with all her stuff. _The co-ed bathrooms take some time to get used to. I got sick of everyone's opinion on my extensive night time ritual so I started showering at three in the morning when no one is around. _Rachel gets her stuff ready and organized. She hears the showers on and a man singing. The showers turn off and a man with only a towel on steps out. Rachel gets caught staring by goes back to her stuff.

"Hey, you're a freshman right?" the guy asks her as he gets to the sink.

"Yeah. I'm Rachel Berry. I'm majoring in Musical Theater." Rachel says and gives him a little wave.

"me too. I'm Brody Weston. I'm a junior." He says and smiles at her. "I see you survived your first class with Cassy. You must be good."

"Yeah, is she always that awful?" Rachel asks and messes with her hair.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have got that gig on Broadway if she didn't push me hard." Brody says as he puts some crème on his face.

"You were on Broadway?" Rachel asks, amazed.

"Steel worker number three." Brody says and bows a little. "The show only lasted like three performances, but still. I like to come here at night too. People give me crap about my moisturize ritual."

"Me too." Rachel says and smiles.

"We're actors, right? Our skin is like our paint brushes and canvas." Brody says and keeps moisturizing.

"Yeah, but I'm really not sleeping lately. Not a lot of city noise in Lima, Ohio." Rachel says and ties her hair back. "I think everything gets a little getting used to, but yeah."

"You'll be fine. Just remember." He comes to her. "You are here because you are the best of the best. Start believing that." Brody starts heading for the door. He turns around. "Oh, and in case you were wondering, which you were, I'm straight." Brody leaves the bathroom.

* * *

"So he was wearing a towel that barley covered his twinkle twin and he is straight. Do you like him." Kurt asks Rachel. He had finally had the time to call her. He was kind of worried about Brody though.

"No. You know I will always love you." Rachel says walking down a street. "I miss you like crazy."

"Oh is that why you are calling every three hours." Kurt says, teasing her.

"I just want to make sure you're okay. I'm great. I love it here. My dance teacher worships me." Rachel crosses the street. "But how are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm keeping busy." Kurt says.

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm at McKinney. I figured I would check in on its new addition." Kurt says.

"Okay, well have fun. Call me tonight. I love you and miss you." Rachel says and makes kissing sounds.

"I love and miss you too." He says laughing and hangs up the phone.

* * *

Rachel sits down and says hi to Brody. Carmen comes in and stands in the front. "To returning students, welcome back. New students, welcome to the round room. The acoustics are perfect and there are no corners, which mean there are no places to hide. First year students are allowed a chance to sing publicly twice. The first time, today, the debut."

Brody leans over. "Also known as the freshman reaping."

"The second, the Winter Show Case, at the end of the semester. If you are invited. Shall we begin?" Carmen sits down and calls up the first girl. The girl gets up and starts to sing opera. Carmen stops her very quickly. "When I accepted you into NAYDA, I told you to practice all summer long."

"I did." The girl says.

"You did not. I think you need to practice a little more and reapply in December." Carmen says. The girl nods and walks away, crying.

"Did she just get cut?" Rachel asks Brody.

"It happens." Brody says and shrugs.

"Rachel Berry." Carmen says. Rachel gets up and goes to the front. "Impress me."

"Hi, my name is Rachel Berry, and I will be singing New York State of Mind. Popularized by Barbara Streisand."

_Some folks like to get away  
For a holiday from the neighborhood  
Hop a flight to Miami Beach  
Or to Hollywood  
But I'm taking a Greyhound  
On the Hudson River Line  
I'm in a New York state of mind_

_It was so easy living day by day_  
_Out of touch with the rhythm and the blues_  
_But now I need a little give and take_

_The New York Times,_  
_The Daily News_  
_It comes down to reality_  
_And it's fine with me_  
_'cause I've let it slide_

_Don't care if it's Chinatown or on Riverside_  
_I don't have any reasons_  
_I've left them all behind_  
_I'm in a New York state of mind_  
_I'm just taking a Greyhound_  
_On the Hudson River Line_

_'Cause I'm in  
I'm in a New York state of  
Mind  
New York State of Mind _

Brody stands up and claps for her, until Carmen turns around. "Nice." Carmen tells Rachel.

* * *

Rachel was sitting outside the school looking at a photo of her and Kurt. "Is that your boyfriend?" Brody asks, coming up behind her.

"Hey. Yeah this is Kurt. He is back home and I've been busy so we haven't been talking as much." Rachel says and looks at the photo.

"I had a girlfriend back home when I started NAYDA. We lasted six weeks." Brody says.

"No, that isn't going to happen to us. I'm not turning my back on him." Rachel says.

"No one said you should." He says and sits down. "I came to tell you killed it in Carmen's class. Nice job."

"Thank you. Other than when singing that song, I just I never felt as amazingly wrong as I do here. All alone. I just feel like I'm going to throw up all the time." They laugh.

"It's only because you are becoming a different person. That is why you came to New York, to be that new and improved girl. Here let me see your phone." He takes her phone. "We are going to take a picture." He sets it up and they pose. He takes the photo.

She laughs. "Let me see." He shows her the photo.

"You look good. Don't fight the new you, because of what I've seen she is going to kick some serious tail and start adding new memories to the old ones." Brody gets up and holds out his hand. "Walk you to class?" She nods and takes his hand.

* * *

Rachel sits in the park looking at photos of her and Kurt, Tina and Mike and even Puck. She felt really lonely. She looks around at all the people smiling and laughing with another person. She gets up and goes to the fountain. Rachel called Kurt. "Kurtie…" She was in mid tears.

"What's wrong? You sound sad baby." Kurt asks worried.

"I lied. I'm not okay. I miss you and I miss everything. My dance teacher is a monster and I can't even go back to my dorm, because my roommate is sleeping with the entire school." Rachel says to him, crying.

"Maybe you should move out and find a new roommate." Kurt suggests.

Rachel laughs a little. "Yeah."

"Turn around." Kurt says.

Rachel turns around confused and sees Kurt. She grins and runs to him, hugging him tightly when she gets to him. She kisses him deeply and passionately.


	18. The Doubt

**Thank you for everyone that commented and read this story. Your reviews keep me interested and made me come back to this story. If you want to read another one of my stories, check out Wolfy. It's a Remus Lupin/OC story. **

* * *

Rachel and Kurt were making out on the couch, and his hands were slowly going up her thigh when they hear a knock on the door. Rachel pulls back and gets up. "Don't move." She kisses him and runs to the door. She opens the door and frowns. "Finn?"

"Hey Rach." Finn says and gives her a lopsided smile. "Can I come in?"

Rachel looks back at Kurt and sees that he is nodding. "Um, sure."

She steps aside and Finn walks in. "Hey bro." Finn says to Kurt.

Kurt sits up. "Hey."

Rachel shuts the door and sits by Kurt. "Why are you here Finn?"

"I miss you two." Finn says and sits on the chair. "I miss you Rachel. I want you in my life, even if it is as friends."

Rachel looks at Finn and then Kurt. "Um, okay?"

Finn grins and hugs her. Rachel hugs back.

"Who wants dinner?" Rachel gets up and runs to the kitchen.

* * *

"I'm going to go get breakfast." Kurt says and kisses Rachel's cheek.

"Okay, hurry back baby." Rachel says and grins.

Kurt leaves and Rachel gets up and makes some coffee. "Morning." Finn says as he walks into the kitchen.

"Hey, Kurt is getting breakfast. He gets these scones and muffins at this shop down the street every day. He is so sweet." Rachel gushed.

"You know what Blaine told me." Finn says to Rachel.

"Hmm?" Rachel asks and makes coffee.

"That Kurt meets up with a guy there every day." Finn says and looks for the milk.

"What? Maybe it is his friend." Rachel says, trying not to believe Finn. _Kurt does go there every day, even if we are running late, and he stays there for a while._ Rachel tears up.

"You know as well as me that it is not just a friend. Kurt is gay Rach. He always has been, and thinking he isn't will never help you. Just think about when Kurt told you about Blaine."

* * *

_***Flashback***_

"_**Hey Rachel! I've been looking for you."**_

"_**No don't bother spying on me to get a leg up because the only solos that I'm getting for Sectionals are in my mind. I don't even know what we are doing for Sectionals." Rachel sighs and looks down.**_

_**Kurt looks at Rachel, worried about her. "Actually I was hoping you could help me. I've been sitting in my car for over an hour waiting for Karofsky to make a Mickie D's run. I've been invited to audition for a solo." **_

"_**Why should I help you, I mean you're our competition now."**__** And if I help Kurt and they win, I will be more hated. **__**Rachel thinks and sighs. **_

"_**Because even though we hate each other, we've had our moments. And I could use your expertise. And no one knows how to kill a ballad quite like you. You are as brilliant and talented as you are irritating." Kurt says, hoping to get the old Rachel. The Rachel he left McKinney with. **_

"_**Considering that this might be my only chance to sing for a little while, I'll give you a couple tips. So what did you have in mind?" Rachel says. **_

"_**I've settled on Celine Dion's classic, **__**My Heart Will Go On." Kurt says and smiles, thinking it is a great choice. **_

"_**Oh no, no no no." Rachel says as she shakes her head. **_

"_**No?" Kurt asks. **_

"_**Listen, you need something much more personal than that. I mean, this is about you. Do you ever fantasize about your own funeral?" Rachel asks, thinking about how she almost killed herself last night. **_

"_**No…" Kurt says and looks at her. **_

_**RACHEL: I do. Finn throwing himself into the grave out of grief and all of the heartfelt speeches and the regrets!**_

"_**That's insane." Kurt says and looks at Rachel, very worried at this point. **_

"_**Clearly no one in the Glee club appreciates me so is it so wrong for me to fantasize about them finally realizing how amazing I am, but it being too late?! And there's only one song that expresses those feelings." Rachel says and sighs. She walks to Kurt and picks up the CD player he brought. She goes through it. "I'm sure that it's in here somewhere." Rachel presses a button and looks at Kurt.**_

"_**Oh." Kurt says and sits down and watches Rachel sing 'Don't cry for me Argentina.' **_

_**Rachel gets done and sits down. "Sing that song and you will get the solo." **_

"_**Thank you Rachel." Kurt says and hugs her. Rachel sighs and hugs back. "How are you Rachel? You and my brother still good?" **_

_**Rachel shrugs. "I'm good. Finn slept with Santana, but it was when we weren't together, so I guess it's fine." Rachel feels heartbroken but hides it. **_

_**Kurt looks at her and sighs. "I meet a guy."**_

_**Rachel looks at him, shocked and a little sad. "That is great!" Rachel fakes being happy and hugs him. **_

_***End of Flashback***_

* * *

"You were heartbroken even more when he told you that he liked Blaine. He is gay Rach." Finn says and takes her hand. "I'm not gay and I love you."

Rachel takes her hand away. "You're married."

"So? Quinn never has to know." Finn says and corners her.

"No Finn. I won't do that to people, even Quinn." Rachel says and tries to get out.

"No you are not going anywhere." Finn says and pushes her to the wall. He kisses her rough and hurtfully.

Rachel pushes him off and wipes off her face. "Stop!"

Finn growls and punches the wall by her head. Rachel squeaks and shakes. "You will date me Rachel. I need you!" Finn says and pulls her to him. Rachel tries to move away and screams. Finn keeps her close. "Just enjoy it Rach." Finn whispers in her ear and kisses right below it.

Kurt walks in and frowns. "Finn Hudson! Let go of my girlfriend now or I will get the police over here."

Finn lets go of Rachel and storms out. "Didn't want her anyways."

Rachel sinks to the floor and sobs. Kurt runs over and hugs her. "Don't worry baby. I got you. No one will hurt you." Kurt rubs her back. What he didn't know is that Rachel was crying for him too.

* * *

Kurt leads Rachel into Callbacks. "We are going to stay for an hour. You need out of the house." Kurt tells Rachel. It was a week after Finn left and Rachel was acting different. She has more quiet and didn't bug anyone. Kurt was getting worried. He sees Brody and walks over. "Hey Brody."

"Hey Kurt. Hey Rach." Brody says to the couple.

Rachel just nods and sits down. Brody looks at her worried and then at Kurt. Kurt shrugs and mouths. 'I'll tell you later.' People got up and sang, while Brody and Kurt tried to Rachel to go up and sing. She kept refusing and going to the bathroom. Kurt had told Brody what happened and they both were worried.

"We have new comer tonight, give it up to Blaine Anderson." The host says and gives the mick to Blaine. Kurt and Rachel stare at him.

"This is for Kurt. I love you." Blaine says and sits down and performs a slower version of 'Teenage Dream.' After the song, Blaine gets up and goes to Kurt. "Please take me back. I miss you and you miss me."

"I'm not gay." Kurt says and looks at Rachel. She was looking down and fumbling with her hands. "My girlfriend and I are very happy and in love. Please stop."

Blaine grabs Kurt and kisses him. Kurt kisses back for a moment but pushes Blaine back. "Stop!"

"You kissed back!" Blaine says and grins.

Kurt looks at Rachel, who was looking up now. "Did you?" Rachel asks softly. Kurt nods softly. Rachel nods and runs out.

"Rachel!" Kurt calls after her but she doesn't come back.

* * *

Rachel gets to the appartment and lies down and sobs into her pillow. _Of course he is gay. Why did I think I could change that. Why didn't I know. _She sobs untill she couldn't anymore.

_(blaine singing in the overvoice)_

_Life's too short to even care at all, oh woah oh,  
I'm losin' my mind, losin' my mind, losin' control  
These fishes in the sea, they're staring at me woah oh,  
Oh oh oh oh,  
A wet world aches for a beat of a drum,  
Oh_

If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
To some fortune that I should have found by now  
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down

__Rachel sits and grabs her sleeping pill. "No one wants me. No one." She gets up and writes a note to Kurt saying that she is sorry.

_Life's too short to even care at all oh  
I'm coming up now, coming up now, out of the blue oh  
These zombies in the park, they're looking for my heart  
Oh oh oh oh  
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun oh oh_

If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
To some fortune that I should have found by now

And so I run now to the things they said could restore me,  
Restore life the way it should be  
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down

Rachel gets a glass of water and sits on the bed. She takes the pills and lies down.

_Life's too short to even care at all oh  
I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control_

If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
To some fortune that I should have found by now

So I run now to the things they said could restore me,  
Restore life the way it should be  
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down

__Kurt runs through the door. "Rach?" He walks to her room and thinks she is sleeping, till he sees the bottle. He runs over and reads the note and gaps. "Rachel, no." He dials 911 and tells them what happened. A few minutes later, he hears the sirens. "We will help you Rachel."__

_One more spoon of cough syrup now, oh  
One more spoon of cough syrup now, oh_


	19. The Trip Home

"I don't want to go to Lima." Rachel says, sitting on her bed. It was a month after her attempted suicide and Kurt had not let her out of his sight. "I'll stay here."

Kurt sighs and looks at her. She wasn't eating. She wasn't singing. She wasn't doing anything. She was going to classes but nothing else. To say Kurt was worried would be an understatement. He was scared for his girlfriend. He told her that he didn't mean to kiss Blaine back and she forgave him. "You know I won't let you."

"I'm not a baby Kurt Hummel. I can take care of myself." Rachel says and brings her knees to her chest. She hated being watched so closely, but she understood. She just didn't want to live anymore. Kurt wasn't supposed to save her.

"I know you are honey, but I'm worried." He sits on the bed and takes her hand. "You aren't eating or singing. All you do is sit at home or go to class. Brody and I are so worried. I want you healthy like you use to. Please baby, just come to Lima without a fight. Our friends will be there."

"Mike and Tina?" Rachel asks, looking a little excited.

"Even Puck." Kurt says and smiles.

"Okay I'll go, but no one can know about what happened." Rachel says and gets up.

"Fine with me, but can you eat more baby?" Kurt asks and Rachel nods as she packs.

* * *

Kurt and Rachel walk down the hallway to Kurt's locker. "We had many a talks here." Kurt says and smiles.

"We did. They were good ones." Rachel says and touches the locker. "Remember when you told Mercedes that you liked me to not date her."

"Yeah and I'm still hurt about it." Mercedes says. Kurt and Rachel turn to her. "I'm not going to fight with you two. I am so sorry Rachel, for everything the glee club and I did. You are a great person and I was jealous."

Rachel nods. "I forgive you Mercedes."

"Good. I'm going to hug you know." Mercedes says and hugs Rachel before Rachel could stop her. "You're thin. Have you lost weight?" Rachel nods and looks at Kurt, who was frowning. "Are you two still together?" Rachel nods at this too and smiles a little. "Good. I heard about what Blaine has been doing. Sending Finn to Rachel to get her to believe Kurt was cheating and then showing up. He is a jealous and lame. So last year." Mercedes laughs. Kurt and Rachel laugh a little and Rachel takes Kurt's hand. Kurt looks at her and kisses her cheek. "Let's go back stage." Mercedes says and goes backstage with Kurt and Rachel following.

Kurt sees Finn and Blaine and glares at them. He mouths 'Stay Away.' Mercedes leads Kurt and Rachel to Mike and Tina. Rachel grins and hugs Tina. They go off and talk. "Well I guess our girlfriends missed each other, even though they talk every day." Mike says and laughs.

Kurt nods in agreement and looks over at Rachel and Tina. He hadn't seen Rachel this happy since before they Finn/Blaine incident. "I'm glad you and Tina are back. Rachel needed Tina."

* * *

The play had been good, very cute but Rachel thought about the first time her and Finn sang, since they did the same song. She excused herself to the bathroom and sobbed. Rachel leaves the bathroom and dries her tears.

"Rachel? Why where you were crying?" Finn asks Rachel.

"I would rather not why." Rachel says, wrapping an arm around her.

"Were you crying about me?" Finn asks

"I… I wasn't crying about you." Rachel says. "Not everything is about you."

"Oh… It's about him." Finn says. "I never expected you to move onto my gay brother Rachel."

"He isn't gay. He is straight and he loves me." Rachel says, feeling tired of the same thing from Finn.

"You don't know that. Maybe be we shouldn't have any more communications. Not even in song." Finn says.

"Fine with me." Rachel says.

Kurt comes up and wraps an arm around Rachel's waist. "Finn, Mr. Shue wants you."

"Okay, thanks. Bye guys." Finn says and walks away.

"I wanna go home Kurt." Rachel says and leans into Kurt.

"I thought this was home." Kurt says and kisses her head.

"Not anymore." Rachel says and smiles as Kurt leads her out.


	20. The Showcase

**5,364 views for this story. I feel so honored. Thank you everyone. :* 20 chapters. wow! **

* * *

Rachel and Kurt were sitting in their apartment and reading, Rachel on one side and Kurt on the other. She has on one of his shirts on and shorts. He had on a pair of shorts on and that was it. They were enjoying their alone quiet time.

"Have you applied again yet?" Rachel asks Kurt.

"Not yet. I don't know if I should. I mean the feel like the universe is telling me that I am bad at this." Kurt says and puts his book down.

"It's just Carmen Tableaux." Rachel says.

"Is there a difference?" Kurt asks and Rachel shrugs. "Have the invitation to NAYAD's Winter Showcase been handed out?"

"They haven't and I won't get one. The last freshman was seven years ago and they were Broadway-stage raised." Rachel says and shrugs.

"I've been reading the NAYAD blogs to find out stuff that could help me. That is the only way I found out about the Showcase. Every year, ten students are chosen to perform at the showcase. Carmen hand writes each invitation and delivers them. Just being invited is an honor. Former winners have won Emmys, Oscars and Golden Globes." Kurt tells Rachel.

"Well I will never be given a chance this year so let's forget it. I want to go to dinner." Rachel says and gets up, then runs to her room. "Dress nice! You're taking me somewhere nice!"

Kurt laughs and shakes his, then goes to his room and gets dressed.

* * *

Kurt was sitting in their living room, flipping through the channels, when Rachel burst threw the door. "Kurt!"

"Rachel!" Kurt yells back at Rachel and laughs.

"I got an invitation to the showcase!" Rachel yells and sits by Kurt. She shoves the invitation in his face and squeals.

"This is amazing!" He says and hugs her. He kisses her and pulls away. "Dinner. Nice. Fancy."

"We just went out to a nice dinner." Rachel says.

"A nicer place then The Broadway Fancy Foods Inc., I was thinking La Grenouille." Kurt says and grins.

"I love that place!" Rachel says. "But we can't afford that."

"We can. I'll use my credit card. This deserves a dinner." Kurt says and gets up. "So go get something really nice on." He pulls her up and pushes her to her room with a slap on her butt.

* * *

It was the night of the Showcase and Rachel was pacing outside the room. She was in a white gown and her hair half up and half down. Brody and Kurt walk up. "Hey." Brody says.

Rachel turns to them and smiles. "Hey. Hi." She fumbles with her hands.

"You're nervous." Brody says and turns to Kurt. "She is nervous." He turns back to Rachel. "I was too at my first showcase. Just remember what I said when we first meet. You're here because you are the best of the best." Rachel smiles at him. "What?"

"That was very good, a very good pep talk. I just feel like I got this, you know?" Rachel looks at the ground and then at the boys. "I know I'm not a natural beauty," Kurt opens his mouth to object. "No, Kurt. I am not a natural beauty. No will never pay me to run down the run way on fashion week or be the cover of something, but if you give me a stage, I know with my gut that there is no one who can beat me."

"I-I can't believe you can be so calm." Brody says.

Rachel laughs and puts her hands on her head. "I'm terrified." She laughs and looks at them. "But I know who I am and what I'm going to do. I'm just going to go out there and act like I will never have a chance to sing again."

"I may not know a lot, but I know not to get in the way of a woman on a mission." Kurt says. "So break a leg." He starts to walk in with Brody, but Rachel stops him and kisses him. She pulls back. "You'll do great."

A worker comes and tells Rachel that it is her turn. They walk in as Carmen is introducing Rachel. "Our next performer is from the freshman class. Please welcome miss Rachel Berry."

Rachel goes up to the front of the room, as the boys sit down. "Hi I'm Rachel Berry."

_Being good isn't good enough_

_Being good won't be good enough _

_When I fly, I must fly extra high  
And I'll need special wings so far to go  
From so far below_

_Should I try?_  
_Am I strong enough?_  
_If there's time, have I long enough?_  
_Gotta fly and if I fall_  
_That's the way it's gotta be_  
_There's no other way for me_  
_Being good just won't be good enough_  
_I'll be the best or nothing at all_

_I'll try, am I strong enough?_  
_If there's time, have I long enough?_  
_Gotta fly and if I fall_  
_That's the way it's gotta be_  
_There's no other way for me_  
_Being good just won't be good enough_  
_I'll be the best or nothing at all_

Everyone gets up and clasp for her. "Encore!" Brody yells over the clapping and cheering. Rachel shrugs and looks at Carmen. She shrugs as she claps.

Rachel talks to the band and then comes to the front again. "This is my favorite holiday song."

_O Holy Night  
The stars are brightly shining  
It is the night  
Of our dear Savior's birth_

_Long lay the world_  
_In sin and error pining_  
_Till He appeared_  
_And the soul felt its worth_

_A thrill of hope_  
_The weary world rejoices_  
_For yonder breaks_  
_A new and glorious morn'_

_Fall on your knees_  
_Oh, hear the angel voices_

_Oh night divine_  
_Oh night when Christ was born_

_Oh night divine_  
_Oh night_  
_Oh night divine_

_Truly He taught us_  
_To love one another_  
_His law is love_  
_And His gospel is peace (And His gospel is peace)_

_Chains shall He break_  
_For the slave is our brother_  
_And in His name_  
_All oppression shall cease._

_Sweet hymns of joy_  
_In grateful chorus raise we_  
_With all within us_  
_Praise His holy name_

_Fall on your knees_  
_Oh hear the angels voices_

_Oh night divine_  
_O night when Christ was born_

_Oh night divine_  
_Oh night_  
_Oh night divine_

_Oh Night Divine (oh night divine)_

Everyone stands up and claps for her. Rachel goes to Kurt and hugs him as Carmen goes to the front. "Rachel, that was wonderful. No it was subpurve and now we are going to have a brief intermission, and when we get back if he thinks he is ready we will have a performance from Mr. Hummel."

Everyone leaves and Kurt rushes out, with Rachel following. He rushes down the stairs. "Carmen Tableaux is a crazy person, asking me to sing in front of the entire NAYDA faculty and all those theater luminaries. Why would she do that?" Kurt paces.

"She is giving you a second chance at your audition. She wants to see how you perform under pressure." Rachel tries to explain to him.

"I'm going to fail, that is what is going to happen. I have nothing prepared." Kurt says, pacing still, just not as much.

"Oh my god, you have an entire repertory." Rachel says and rolls her eyes.

"I guess I could do Wishing you were here again." Kurt says desperate.

"No, not Phantom with this crowd." Rachel says.

"With one look?" Kurt suggests.

"Simpson Bulverde, the same." Rachel knocks it down.

"Being Alive?" Kurt shrugs his shoulders.

"Yes. I just got chills thinking about it." Rachel says and grins. "That's perfect!"

"There's only one problem, I think that's the song Carmen hates." Kurt says and sits down. "And I can't do it without a costume or props!"

"You don't need any of that stuff." Rachel says.

"Yes I do. You know I'm not my best when I don't have my careless bells and whistles." Kurt says and faces the window.

Rachel walks over. "Kurt, you said it yourself, that is what Carmen does not want to see." She sits by him. "You know when you were your absolute best? My favorite performance ever? When you sang I wanna hold your hand in the choir room. It was so simple and amazing and emotional and I get chills every time I think about it. Do you remember that?"

Kurt sighs. "Of course I do. But things were different. My dad was in the hospital. I dedicated it to him. Who am I supposed to dedicate this to? Carmen?" Kurt asks desperate.

"To yourself." Rachel says and takes his hand.

Kurt walks in and everyone claps. He tells the band his song and then goes to the front. "Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel and tonight I will be performing a song that I have loved since I was six, but I think for the first time in my first I understand what it means."

_Someone to hold you too close,  
Someone to hurt you too deep,  
Someone to sit in your chair,  
To ruin your sleep._

_Someone to need you too much,_  
_Someone to know you too well,_  
_Someone to pull you up short_  
_To put you through hell._

_Someone you have to let in,_  
_Someone whose feelings you spare,_  
_Someone who, like it or not,_  
_Will want you to share_  
_A little, a lot._

_Someone to crowd you with love,_  
_Someone to force you to care,_  
_Someone to make you come through,_  
_Who'll always be there,_  
_As frightened as you_  
_Of being alive,_  
_Being alive,_  
_Being alive,_  
_Being alive._

_Somebody, hold me too close,_  
_Somebody, hurt me too deep,_  
_Somebody, sit in my chair_  
_And ruin my sleep_  
_And make me aware_  
_Of being alive,_  
_Being alive._

_Somebody, need me too much,_  
_Somebody, know me too well,_  
_Somebody, pull me up short_  
_And put me through hell_  
_And give me support_  
_For being alive,_  
_Make me alive,_  
_Make me alive,_  
_Make me confused,_  
_Mock me with praise,_  
_Let me be used,_  
_Vary my days._  
_But alone is alone, not alive._

_Somebody, crowd me with love,_  
_Somebody, force me to care,_  
_Somebody, let me come through,_  
_I'll always be there,_  
_As frightened as you,_  
_To help us survive_  
_Being alive,_  
_Being alive,_  
_Being alive!_

Everyone stands up and claps for him.

* * *

Rachel comes in from her dinner with some friends to find Kurt with a letter. "Oh my god. What happened."

"I got my NAYDA letter. I got in." Kurt says and grins.

"You got in!" Rachel yells and hugs him.


	21. The diva-off

Rachel sits at the table, looking into a mirror, as Kurt and Brody look at her. "She is getting out of control." Kurt says to Brody.

"Insufferable is more like it." Brody says back.

"She never hangs with us anymore. She is with the Sycophants." Kurt says and frowns. He missed his Rachel.

"And she uses the hot water, leaves rings in the tub, has clogged the sink because of her hair extentions, and gets me to answer her phone because she is saving her voice." Brody says. Kurt nods.

"I'm going to knock her down; I'm the only one who can." Kurt says.

"Since you boys aren't doing anything, can you give me tea?" Rachel says.

"Why can't you Rachel!?" Kurt yells.

"I'm doing facial expressions Kurty." Rachel says.

"You know what! I am done! You are a nightmare now!" Brody says.

"You are just jealous Brody. You have never won the showcase." Rachel says and smiles.

"You are being a straight up diva!" Kurt says.

"You know the only reason you got to sing at the showcase was because Carmen Tibideaux knew that we are dating." Rachel says and goes back to facial expressions.

"You might have won, it is my performance that everyone is talking about." Kurt says.

"Is not!" Rachel says.

"I challenge you to Midnight Madness." Kurt says.

Rachel laughs. "Okay, but it will be just like sophomore year and Defying Gravity."

"The only reason you won it was because I threw the high F, I didn't want my dad embarrassed that his son was singing a girls song." Kurt says and smirks.

"You would not do that." Rachel says and frowns.

"Truth time." Kurt says and shrugs.

Rachel opens and closes her mouth a couple times. "That is what I built my confidence on for the past three years."

"Well you better be ready this time, because I am not holding back this time." Kurt says and leaves with Brody.

* * *

"At Midnight Madness, the rules are clear. Two singers perform the same song, and the audience choices by walking over to the side of the individual they believe sung it better." Brody explains to the crowd. "Our first two are Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel." The two get up and go to him. They give each other a weak smile and Kurt draws the song. "Bring Him Home. Okay, Kurt since you challenged Rachel, you go first."

_**Kurt:**__  
God on high  
Hear my prayer  
In my need  
You have always been there_

_**Rachel:**__  
He is young  
He's afraid  
Let him rest  
Heaven blessed._

_**Kurt:**__  
Bring him home_

_**Rachel:**__  
Bring him home  
Bring him home.  
He's like the son I might have known_

_**Kurt:**__  
If God had granted me a son._

_**Rachel:**__  
The summers die  
One by one_

_**Kurt:**__  
How soon they fly  
On and on  
And I am old  
And will be gone._

_**Rachel:**__  
You can take_

_**Kurt:**__  
You can give_

_**Rachel:**__  
Let him be_

_**Kurt:**__  
Let him live_

_**Rachel:**__  
If I die_

_**Kurt:**__  
Let me die_

_**Rachel:**__  
Let him live_

_**Kurt:**__  
Bring him home_

_**Rachel:**__  
Bring him home_

_**Kurt:**__  
Bring him_

_**Rachel:**__  
Home._

"Okay, everyone, who won." Brody tells the people and they get up and go to each person's side. "By the closet call there has been, Kurt is the winner!" Everyone claps for him, even Rachel, even though she is devastated.

* * *

Kurt goes up to Rachel and kisses her cheek. "We should go to the open audition for Funny Girl."

"Um, I have homework, but you will be a great Fanny Bryce." Rachel says and leaves Kurt frowning.

* * *

Kurt comes home and runs into Rachel's room. "We have the last two stops for Funny Girl."

"I'm not going." Rachel says and brings her pillow to her.

"You need to get over the loss." Kurt says and sits down. "We are even now. You were born to play Fanny Bryce."

"What if I do get the part and I become a bigger and badder dive. Then I will start to isolate myself from my friends and you, then people will hate me." Rachel says.

"You are a diva, but a diva is talented, ambitious and original." Kurt says and grins.

"I love you." Rachel says and hugs him.

* * *

**That is all of them, unless someone can give me an idea for the wedding ep. I have no idea how to turn that Hummelberry. So I will continue in three weeks when the next ep is out, Thanks all. **


End file.
